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It's difficult to get my sister to take her med, and it's almost impossible to get respite care. Mys sister insists she is fine, and she earnestly believes she doesn't need anyone to be with her.

And I don't know what to do about the following behavior chain: She asks me (or my friend who spends some time with her) "Do you think I have a memory problem?" When I or my frien=d answer "yes,", she asks for a recent example. When we give her an example, she says "Why can't you ever say something nice? You are always so unpleasant." Should I say she has no memory problem? Or just decline to give the example she requests?

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That's a tough one, since she's obviously in an early enough stage to realize that people with Alzheimer's have memory problems. She seems to be in denial so she really wants a different answer, but if you do that it will be even harder to get her to take her medications. If she were farther into the disease, I wouldn't think she'd ask this question.

Normally, I am all for agreeing with what the person affected by the disease says, but in this case, I think you and your friend may have to put up with this as it stands. Just remember to not take her response personally. She is having to absorb a very difficult fact and this is how she's approaching it.

If it's any comfort, this, too, shall pass. Of course, there will be other issues so please keep coming back to Agingcare for support from people who've been there.
Take care of yourself, too.
Carol
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My Dad knew that he had problems. And I believe he realized it at an earlier stage because both his Mom and his Sister were diagnosed with Alzheimer's. But there have been times over the past four years since his diagnosis (he actually has Lewy Body Dementia) that he has said that while he has a problem, "it's not too bad". He was saying this up to the point where we moved him to a SNF, at least during his more lucid moments. He also had a tendency to say that HE didn't have a problem, my Mom had the problem! I think the situation is two-pronged: the individual has dementia and really doesn't realize or believe that he/she has a problem; or the person with dementia knows he/she has a problem but doesn't want to admit it.
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