Mom won't change her Depends and wears them soaked. How can I discuss this with her?

We've been to 4 doctors in the past 3 years. I talked to a lot of people! It may seem crazy but keep trying.

MIL already had a diagnosis of dementia when we went to this one, but I knew he was it when he was interviewing her. Family members kept interrupting to correct her answers and he asked her to excuse him and turned to all of us and said you'll have your turn but she is the patient I will hear from her 1st.
Since then he has worked with us on everything - explaining medical jargon, why he went with certain treatments, even helped us reconfigure the heights of her bed and chair, placement of rugs to decrease fall risk. I love him more than I should ;-)

yeh me too my mums doc is USELESS am going to change him!

Julidu, it sounds like you have a fantastic doctor for your mom! I'm jealous!

things are a little easier others no...

We have a list of the things the doctor reviews with MIL at almost every visit (every 3 months)- this is one of the things. We also tried many different brands/ styles/ sizes to find which one made her the most comfortable. Our best results wer when she got a UTI and the doctor told me to make it a BIG deal. I hated it but I gave her the antibiotics during her "show" (OMG she cannot miss Days of Our Lives) and would apologize but tell her I had to because. Now, when I notice she's not changing it as it should be, I remind her. Most times it does the trick...

I love her doctor! He is the one who came up with her list. Body hygiene, medication, physical activity he dicsusses with her at every visit. He talks directly to her and tells her what can happen if she doesn't do "x". Sometimes she gets it and

Thanks, I will just have to talk with her especially since UTI's can happen and it would be far worse. Yes my mom has always been so fastidious about her grooming, this is really hard.

So sad isnt it my mum was so clean and tidy wouldnt go out to the garden without her makeup?

My mum is doing this quite often she wears them with no pants with her PJS and from the back she looks like the backside of a "HIPPO"

What I do is get a clean pair of pants and depend as you call them and hand it to her and say mum theres a smell of pee maybe you should change?

Sometimes she will other times she gets very angry and leave me alone.

I will ask the district nurse to have a word with her but this is very tough like a toddler running away when you need to change his nappy?

Its also hard for them they may not realise that you notice and when you do they get angry.

This is something you will have to get hard with and insist she change OR as I do threaten with nurse coming to change her OR a home!

Sometimes we have to use blackmail to get them to do what we want but this can cause infections especially UTIs so you should have a serious chat with a nurse or doc.

Every time I call nurse she says she needs to go into a home as it will get worse this is not much help?