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terryjack12 Asked October 2013

Smoothing ruffled feathers. Any ideas?

Grandma and granddaughter are not communicating well so there are some bad feelings between them. Granddaughter is the caregiver for grandpa, grandma is happy with care, but doesn't like the restrictions to visitation the granddaughter has made. the granddaughter is not happy the grandma won't watch grandpa for an hour or two on occasion. Granddaughter is managing grandpa's finances and grandma wants more of grandpa's income. The grandma lives in her own home while the granddaughter has taken grandpa to live with her as the caregiving is easier with him right there. How can both granddaughter and grandma be approached to close the riff between them?

palmtrees1 Oct 2013
Sounds as if Granddaughter needs to let her Grandmother and Grandfather make these decisions. Does Grandfather want to go to a nursing home? Is it what is best for him? I guess most people would rather not go to a nursing home but sometimes it is necessary.

terryjack1 Oct 2013
Grandma has advised the granddaughter that she is unable to provide the care grandpa requires and has stated maybe it's time for a nursing home. Granddaughter does not want that but both are still at odds.

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NancyH Oct 2013
berry, maybe you need to find a mediator within the family or friends to act as a go between right now. Someone they both know and respect AND who doesn't have a personal agenda either way, to help keep this working. I see a total fail coming otherwise.

Labs4me Oct 2013
Grandma has no problem dumping her responsibilities as a wife onto her granddaughter, but wants to control how it is done? Grandma is causing the problems. She needs to either back off and accept her granddaughter as the caregiver or take on the responsibilty of caring for her husband on her own.

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