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barwil Asked July 2013

I've been taking care of my mom for the past 6 years, she is in a wheelchair. I also lost my job in 2011. I feel like I'm failing my mom

I have gone through my savings I called IHSS for help and they told me my mom has to pay me because she makes to much money--She gets 1525.00 a month she pays rent of 1125.00 plus pg&e and some food. Now how is she going to pay me if she has maybe has a few dollars left--So now we will lose my car and the apartment in a couple of months I don't understand why its so hard. I feel like I am failing my mother.

Patathome01 Jul 2013
Chimonger said: "Also, talk with unemployment, if you were laid off or fired--you may be able to get Unemployment?" Or, if you had filed for unemployment, did the State deny benefits because you took care of Mom full-time and and your job seeking efforts suffered? I went through a similar situation last year and filed an appeal with the State of CA to restore my benefits, but I had plenty of documentation consistent with the caregiving duties of "domestic work". Try to call Employment Development Department in your residential area and good luck!

Leslie61 Jul 2013
You poor thing - I hope some of these tips are helpful. Big hugs to you

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chimonger Jul 2013
Area Agency on Aging. I think every County has an office.
They have all kinds of information and resources that might be of some use, might be able to help you sort things out so you both keep sheltered.

Also talk with DSHS--welfare--to see if YOU can get some help--
If you have medical issues that prevent your working, have you applied for Disability?
If not, DSHS might help tide you out a bit, while applications are made.

Your finances are separate from your Mom's.
Please take care to keep finances separated--mingling things can cause other messes.

Also, talk with unemployment, if you were laid off or fired--you may be able to get Unemployment?

More information is needed, in order to respond in ways that are really useful.

You might could use someone to help really scrutinize the finances, to learn how to arrange things better.
Might need to find cheaper rent somewhere.

It's possible there might be Senior housing in your region, that has sliding-scale per income.
Usually, those apartments are 1-bed, 1-bath tiny units.
But some are 2 bed. units.
Usually, low income housing like that has a long waiting list--but one never knows--one can get lucky--you have to apply to them, to get on the waiting list.

Are you trying to make payments on a higher-value car from when you were working? Might it be easier to just let it be repo'd?
OR, find someone to take over the payments to preserve credit, and go find a cheaper car--so at least you have wheels for moving, appointments, etc.
.

Patathome01 Jul 2013
Look into your county for help!

ferris1 Jul 2013
You don't say where you live or what kind of apartment in which you live, but $1125 is an expensive apt. Can't you find something cheaper so you can keep the car for appts. and shopping? Call your Area on Aging for any programs your particular city may have. I know she is not receiving SSDI because the amount is too high, so it must be social security from a previous spouse. Am I correct? We need more information in which to adequately help you.

jmcgrath Jul 2013
If she is disabled, does she receive SSDI benefits? Do you live together? Could you? Perhaps if you moved in with mom you could have free room and board in exchange for the caregiving? If you are already doing that, apply to whatever senior (elder affairs) programs you can. If mom spends a large part of her income on her medical condition that may change what is considered her actual income. Also consult an elder law attorney. They can point you in the right direction for other possible solutions.

CarolLynn Jul 2013
Sorry, my android voice recognition is really lame, there are words I could correct in that post but I think you can get the gist of it without. Let me know if you don't understand something.

CarolLynn Jul 2013
How old is mom? She's in a wheelchair so she considered disabled? Even tho you lost your job a couple of years ago, are you know full-time caretaker mom, does she need that now? How old are you, do you have any disabilities? Please answer and I'll have more information.

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