my dad only draws approx. $900 monthly. draws $16 food stamps, is veteran but won't apply for benefits. I quit work to care for Mom & Dad. Can't draw unemployment, can't work part time, on meds for ADD/depression. Mom died in August 2012-dad has alzheimers- doesn't remember she's dead-thinks I am her most of the time- he sleeps most of the time. gets frustrated, sometimes angry because I won't "take a nap" with him. I am with him 24/7 m-f...brother stays on weekend to give me a break...two other sisters don't help at all-one calls occasionally or comes to see him maybe once a month. other sister hasn't been here but once since mom died. she lives same amount of distance I do, but refuses to come around or call.
no caregiver support in area- I stay in tears- take Ativan & Cymbalta- doesn't help. I promised my mom when she died I would take care of daddy. and I will. I actually see my husband on the weekend. he is self employed, no ins, work is off so he can't give me money for meds, drs, mad money...no one to talk to- can't talk to family,friends because after a year I feel I should be handling all better-not crying all the time.
the only time during the week I get away from dad is to go to the store-seems like my depression is worsening and I can't help feeling I am causing my dad to become more depressed because I try to get away at times. I was seeing therapist before I had to quit work. didn't really seem to help other than give me accurate meds for the problems. I was diagnosed with ADD/OCD-put on Strattera-still take when I can get free from manufacturers.
my dad lives alone now, approximately 70 miles from all other immediate family. other sisters think if we wouldn't stay with dad it would force him to move in with someone. My brother and I both agree it would kill dad to force him to leave his home. So we work our lives around dad's care while they go on with their lives as if nothing ever changed. On occasion they used to send dad cards with Walmart cards in them for birthdays, fathers day, etc. now they don't even do that. all extra expenses come back to my brother and me...mostly my brother since I don't have any money. I try to justify it in my mind that it works out between me & my brother that since I quit work, to be here all the time to cook,clean,care for dad that it is even if he supplies money for anything over dad's monthly money but I feel like I am not helping out enough.
I go home on the weekends,try to be a wife, cook, housecleaner,buy groceries, was my husbands clothes,etc but for all practical purposes, my husband is single, has to care for himself, work when he can, try to keep my spirit up,keep his spirit up while going home to an empty house daily. But for the most part I feel like I am letting everybody down because all I do is cry. Realistically I know I all helping but it doesn't feel like it.
I was under the impression there were grants or financial assistance for caregivers. I haven't been able to find any. Maybe if I could pay my way, so to speak, T wouldn't feel like a total failure to everyone. Is this normal?