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kthln3 Asked July 2013

What does one do when "family members" refuse to pull their weight?

Sister Dear has POV, acts like the Medical Expert of the World. and she only has an Associate's Degree in nursing and is so out of touch with nursing trends that I know way more than her. Her big excuses? "I'm old" (59) "I'm alone" (she has had a man in her life since she was 12 and just went thru a divorce 4 years ago and now has to deal with paying her bills and the upkeep of her house, etc) "I live too far away". I am SICK of her. Dad lives with my husband and I; mom is in a nursing home. We carry the load. No other family around except one fabulous cousin who helps me. I an SICK of her crap!

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Perseverance Jul 2013
Acceptance.

I had to come to a place of acceptance that my siblings are selfish and narcissistic. Through tears, prayers and more tears, I had to let it go and forgive them and focus on loving Mom.... Holding a grudge only hurts the person holding onto it.... be free.
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papadoc Jul 2013
I had the same issue with my sister. Despite living within a couple of hours of the folks, she could never even visit much less help. This is the way she was about everything though, and she was only communicative and friendly when she wanted something. Ultimately, I had to just cut off any communications with her. It just wasn't worth me being upset about her and her actions. Everyone has to consider the value of their relationship with that sibling in order to determine how far you'll stretch to keep communications and feelings in check.
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Whitney Jul 2013
I understand your situation. It puts a tremendous strain on a sibling relationship when one sibling is not stepping up to the plate. I don't know what to say, as I've been having a similar problem with my sister not helping me in any way, and she is stubborn as a mule, and always manages to turn the conversation around so that it ends up being my fault. Perhaps you could ask your sister to give you times when she could help you, and plan a weekly schedule so that she has to commit to it. Hope all goes well.
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