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toigibbs Asked May 2013

My 100 year old grandmother wants to go to the emergency room or doctor every week! She believes oil is coming from her dentures. Any advice?

She's not easily distracted and is very willful. What do I do? She has been to ER 4 X/this year and fortunately has been released. A couple of times it's been Gastritis. sore throat and 3 weeks ago the ER doctor could not find anything wrong. It's driving me crazy. Anyone have any advice please?

toigibbs May 2013
Thank you everyone for the great advice. Grandmommie will be 101 this August! At her 100th birthday party she sang, "A Good Man is Hard to Find." It was a hoot and she brought the house down. She's truly amazing.

horserider May 2013
oh, and BTW, 4x in one year -- that's actually not bad for 100. Sometimes something really is wrong and unfortunately no one takes it seriously because the person is "old". Friends Gmpa kept trying to tell Doc for several years that something was wrong w/knee. Doc just dismissed as arthritis. His Gmpa kept saying, no, something wrong -- other knee is the same age! Turned out to be bone cancer & stage IV when finally diagnosed. Who knows what would have happened had Doc listened.

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horserider May 2013
There ARE docs that do house visits, and at least with Kaiser they have home-health nurses. You might want to investigate what options are avail -- at 100 it shouldn't be too hard to convince her insurance/Dr. that a visit to her house is less costly than yet another ER visit.
Oil from the dentures...there is probably SOMETHING triggering this idea --maybe excess saliva from irritated mouth? feels herself starting to drool and that's what her mind comes up with as an explanation?
If you really can't find something maybe you could start ceremonially cleaning her dentures every morning to prevent them from "leaking" along with "special" cleaner (just change brands). That "Placebo" stuff is pretty powerful medicine, but first make sure nothing is really wrong.

JessieBelle May 2013
My mother wanted to go to the hospital a lot the last 3 years. Most of the time I have been able to stop her by saying the ER is for emergencies like heart attack, stroke, or trauma, and she doesn't have any of those things. If she insists further, I say fine, call 911, but I'm not going with you. These things have worked on all but one occasion.

Calicaregiver May 2013
You have a 100 year old grandmother?!....daaaaaamn!

jeannegibbs May 2013
Using healthcare resources unnecessarily is costly. She probably isn't paying for it, but it costing us all. My mother seems to think that calling an ambulance is like calling a cab, and going to ER is like going to a store. (She has dementia.)

Good for your Mom for being "willful" and good for her for demanding the care she thinks she needs. But good for you for injecting some common sense into the situation. Oil is coming from her dentures? Take the dentures out for a day and see how she feels. At the very least, reroute this as a visit to her doctor's office, during normal clinic hours. She may not be able to see her own doctor at such short notice, but she doesn't see her own doctor at the ER, either.

Eyerishlass May 2013
I would stop driving her to the ER. If it's an emergency, call 911. 5 or 6 huge guys will invade the house, the cops will come, it'll be a 3-ring circus. They'll take her blood pressure, listen to her heart, listen to her lungs, talk to her a little bit and then probably declare that she doesn't really need to go to the hospital.

ChristinaW May 2013
Otherwise, is she healthy? How long is she expecting she will live? Willful? Lol That's why she's lived so long. Just tell her it's not necessary to go to ER unless she has fallen and can't get up or she can't breathe. Then you will call paramedics.
She probably wants more attention. Another 100 years of it:) xo

toigibbs May 2013
I've taken her twice and the caregiver I have during the week while I am at work has taken her twice.

OncehatedDIL May 2013
How is she getting to the ER? Is she driving herself there?

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