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No2Florida Asked May 2013

Mom is suddenly inviting strangers in her home. Is there recourse for her safety under our POA?

These were short-term renters next door who were evicted after the grandmother then let in her granddaughter and the granddaughter's adult sons. The condo association evicted them under the terms of the lease. All were super sweet to my mother who is alone and suddenly her food bill doubled in one month and her cash withdrawals tripled. She claims she's just helping but I think she's being groomed for exploitation. Her doctor refuses to diagnose her with dementia but it's clear she's not making good choices. I think the grandsons took all my mom's pain pills, but she insists she flushed them. Social services refuses to step in until her doctor diagnoses her with dementia/Alzheimer's...I'm in a catch 22 and in the meantime she's no longer safe. I'm 1300 miles away and I'm the financial support for her for the past 25 years. This granddaughter has also promised my mother to come over for frequent visits with her sons...I'm so worried and can't convince my mother that this is just not safe behavior. Just because they have nice smiles does not mean that they are good people. What can I do under a POA that can make this a safer situation for my mother? On top of that she's battling breast cancer (refusing chemo, only doing radiation) so it's not like she has any cash flow to help these people. I've stopped putting $$ in her account just so that I can make sure she doesn't give it away. What else can I do to make sure she remains safe in her home?

dovestar2013 May 2013
ok no she is not alone my sister in law takes care of her and lives with her but she is not getting proper care my mother in law has sores on the back of both of her legs and she is diabetic and my sister in law dont feed her the right way and she dont give my mother in law her meds at the right times my mother in law stays in bed all the time she is heavy and cant move around her bed is in the living room and that is where she stays i would take her but i cant i dont have the means in order to take her my sister in law is in charge of her money and there are alot of things going on with my sister in law and her son i just dont want to find out that GOD FORBID someone finds her dead that would devastate my husband

BoniChak May 2013
YES! Call a lawyer in her area. Get a restraining order.My mom was being used like an ATM machine, and a free grocery store, by her neighbor, until I came to take care of her. Don't let these people take advantage of her.

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Eyerishlass May 2013
First of all, good for you for being so diligent in taking care of your mom's financial issues!

If she's at home alone and someone knocks, she can let them in and there's very little that can be done about it since there's no one there to stop her. You're right to be concerned. Our elderly parents are very vulnerable. Does your mom have the money to hire caregivers? If she is being exploited however the people may just learn to come around when the caregiver isn't there. Most people are unable to afford around-the-clock help.

But to answer your question, will a POA keep out unwanted and/or exploitative people? No. But as POA you can do what you're doing, keeping very little in her account. But that's only one of the issues.

Our elderly parents come from a generation where it was safe to trust people, safe to open the front door and to even leave it unlocked. Family was always trusted because back in her day grandson Billy didn't have a prescription pill addiction.

There are people on here who know so much more than I so hopefully you will find a solution. I just wanted to stop by and give you an "atta boy!" for watching out for your mom.

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