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valentina11 Asked February 2013

My mother (91) needs medical help, but will not let me get her any, what can I do?

She not stable mentally or physically. I have gone to our local hospital and asked for help, but they say she must come in willingly and she will not. She does not have a doctor, but does have medicare.
She can no longer walk, but says she will crawl before she'll seek help.

JessieBelle Feb 2013
This is a situation similar to the one I faced with my father. He would not go to the doctor. We were able to get him to go for a couple of things, but nothing meaningful. He would have rather died of pain in his chair than get out of the house. I didn't know what to do, because my mother sided with him in his self neglect.

Valentina, do you live with your mother or separately? I know the pain you're going through watching her neglect herself. You may want to contact your county's Adult Protective Services to see if they will come out and evaluate what needs to be done. Your mother may not want this, but other people around her are suffering. APS may be able to help you find a better option for her.

TonyRovere Feb 2013
Wow! Let me ask you this? do you have a power of attorney or health care proxy for your mother? (My guess is no but I figured I would ask)

If you do then you may be able to get her the help she needs over her objections.

If not (and please remember that I am NOT a lawyer here) but it sounds like the only recourse you may have to get her the help she needs is for you to go to court and get legal guardianship for her.

This is an extremely tough situation and I wish you the best, but I believe these are your only options.

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