How to you talk to an angry mother in law about moving to assisted living?

This sounds serious enough that you should talk with her doctor. Let him or her know that you need to move your mother-in-law but her paranoia and bitterness are preventing you from doing so. It could be that she has dementia that can be treated (not that this will "cure" her, but it could make her a bit more compliant). Since this needs to be done for everyone's sake, you could also call you local social services and ask them how to handle the situation.
Once you do get her moved, don't expect her to be happy. Some people refuse to be happy and some people even get their "entertainment" out of giving other's grief. If she's always been like this to some extent, nothing is likely to change her very much. Check with the experts and do what you can. Then, just bite the bullet, have her things moved and do it. Good luck,
Carol

we are experiencing the same thing. the police have had to go to my mom's home, several times. i've tried to call protective services..no one will help. we're told you cannot force anyone who refuses to go...into any facility...i'm at wit's end..we can't get help..he's an abusive demented man..and will probably call all of us....HELP marylee