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paigep Asked June 2012

How can we gain access to my grandmother?

This is a long story but bare with me. Over the past few years, my 88 year old grandmother has become unable to care for herself after a series of falls and broken bones. She was staying with an aunt but that aunt got angry with her about her small dog and wanted to give it away. When she wanted to go live with another aunt and uncle so she could keep her dog, my crazy aunt became livid and dumped her out at a local restaurant, wheelchair, dog, oxygen tank and all, and called them to come and get her. She's crazy! Anyway, my grandmother went to Dallas to live with my other Aunt and Uncle and had the best of care. Was never alone, taken to hospital visits all the time, my aunt was always taking her shopping or out to eat. Anything she wanted to do. Mammaw developed pheumonia and was put in a rehab facility for about a month. My aunt and uncle signed her out for a weekend and took her out of town to a large flea market. When they arrived back home, the crazy aunt had driven from Kansas City, MO, and literally took her. She had been communicating with my grandma and telling her she was coming to get her because she couldn't make it living on her own and needed her help financially. We honestly never thought she would show up but she did. She took Mammaw and had her gone in about 30 minutes. Everyone was shocked but Mammaw said she wanted to go and she was only going for 2 weeks. It's been almost 2 months now. My grandma has said over and over she doesn't want to be in Missouri but then she forgets again and says she wants to stay. Well, the crazy aunt cussed all of us a few times and refuses to let us speak to her now. I've called and called but never an answer. I've sent Mammaw an edible arrangement with a card telling her to call me but I'm sure the aunt throws it away or just doesn't give it to her.
Since my grandmother has been there, she has already fallen once again but advised my uncle she didn't break any bones this time. She's been to a doctor once and he advised her she was old and didn't have long to live. He wasn't a geriatric doctor so I'm not sure why the crazy aunt took her there other than the fact she isn't smart enough to know there's different doctor's for everyone and everything.

We don't care about the money, we just want her back safe and sound where she's looked after and cared for the way she did for us growing up. The aunt can have the money...and there isn't much of that left anyway since she's already spent most of it.

Do we have any legal rights? She doesn't have POA so I'm not sure why we can't just go get her. My mom called and had adult services go check on her and she once again changed her story that yes, she wanted to stay there. The day before she told my Dallas aunt that she wanted to come home. She has the beginning stages of dementia and I think this could be the problem. If we can't get her back home, I would at least like to be able to call her and speak to her on the phone to make sure she's doing ok. We can't even do that because my aunt refuses to answer the phone. And if she does, she makes sure she puts it on speaker phone so she can hear everything being said. It's all about her and not what's best for my grandma. We are at our wits end and I'm considering calling the cops to go over tonight and check on her. Ask her to call me while they're there just so I can talk to her. Will they even do that? I need to do something and really just want her back safe and well taken care of. HELP!

momhouseme Jul 2012
One other thing i thought of. Please let the agencies that you talk to know how the crazy aunt dumped your mom! this would help your case a great deal. Please please do this.

momhouseme Jul 2012
Yes on all the suggestions above; report the kidnapping. Please be sure to explain she has dementia and is very confused!!!!! It is elder abuse to keep a person in isolation so you may wish to notify adult protective services. Give them the details about not being able to see or talk to grandma. And, do the attorney. Then somebody that is healthy and not crazy should get emergency guardian ship. Then keep us posted so you can protect your grandma from this crazy aunt in the future (ask the attorney) how to i am thinking supervised visitation. And until you have that set up you should at least also have supervised visitation!!!!! Fight for grandma like you are doing. OMG. this is awful.

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anonymous119762 Jul 2012
You certainly do have legal rights. Contact an attorney and explain all of this the same as you did here. It sounds like Grandma thought she was being taken on a vacation to the evil aunt's house and had no idea she was being kidnapped. She appears to have dementia and there fore waffles on where she wants to be. A call to police even now to report the kidnapping and get it on the record can help.

Dadsdaughter Jul 2012
Talk to a lawyer TODAY about applying for emergency guardianship, also consider calling your local DCYF- elder abuse cannot be tolerated!

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