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minerva Asked May 2012

Does my mother need a higher level of care like a nursing home?

My mother, who is 93, has been in an excellent assisted living facility for over two years. Recently, she has stopped changing clothes and doesn't bathe or shower. She also forgets when the aides come weekly to wash her clothes and change the bed linens. These functions are always done on Thursdays but she gets confused and frustrated.

Am I being too concerned about personal hygiene or does my mother need a higher level of care like a nursing home? Thank you for your input.

assistathome Jun 2012
Minerva, Bathing may be something they could add on for an extra fee. The staff she already knows would be the best choice for bathing assistance. Making an appointment with her doctor would also be helpful to find out if she has any medical issues. Dementia is a possibility at her age so share your concerns and ask for her to be tested. Moving her to a new facility could possibly confuse her even more, exhaust all other possibilities first. She is fortunate to have a daughter who is concerned about her health. May God bless you.

Ruth1957 Jun 2012
In addition to the excellent suggestions above - it's possible to have a sort of in-between stage where a hired caregiver comes to the Assisted Living facility to encourage the resident to bathe, and change their clothes. I think that full nursing home care can be depressing to the elder, and can hopefully be put off. If she's at any risk though, of infection, etc, she may have to have the safety of total care. There are some good online resources to help you decide what's going on with her. I watch online training videos and have found them to be very helpful.

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NancyH Jun 2012
minerva, has your mom been checked for a UTI? if she's not suffering from that, then it sounds like there's another issue here, possibly alzheimers/dementia. Time she got to the doctor to rule these things out.

livedwell Jun 2012
I work in an ALF and have for 2 decades = the facility should be providing these services to your mother - this is what assisted living is. Meet with the Director and find out why this isn't being done.

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