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mymommy Asked March 2012

My bothers said it cost money to die other than medical what else is there to pay?

My mother is 73 with stage 7 alzhiemers, he is all the time talking about it will cost mom money when she dies. OI have cared for my mother for almost 5 years now in her home. My bother does not pay me for I am on disability ( yes it is very diffacult on me but she is my mother and I was raised to take care of your own. I used to work in a nursing home and I know that she could not get the one-on-one she gets from me. Here home is paid for and I was thinking for all I do for her that I could get her home , my brother told me it depends on what it will cost her when she dies.

AuntDeeDee Mar 2012
You should be getting paid for your taking care of your mother through her insurance company. All you have to do is call them and tell them you are her home health care provider and they will set up and appt to come and assess how many hours that she needs. I take care of a lady that is on Hospice at home and is totally bedridden. They pay me 31hrs a week at minimum wage but if your mother has better insurance then just medicaid and the supplement then you could get paid for more hrs then I do. I get just above minimum wage and I am a live-in as well. They will come out and then give you a list of Home Health Care Agencies that will come to your house, run a background check on you and you will fill out an application. That's it and you are hired! As far as a funeral, if she is cremated you can have a little service at your house or one of your friend's unless your Church will let you have a funeral there for free. Cremation costs around $600 and I believe Social Security pays about $250 for cremation and or a funeral. I know how hard it is having to deal with family members in these times and I'm sorry you are going through this with your brother! Been there done that and it's no fun! God Bless and I hope everything turns out the way it should!

mymommy Mar 2012
She gets S.S.I and and a retirement pension. He pays his wife when she stays with mom once a month so I can have a brake ( 42 straight hours )

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mymommy Mar 2012
Both funerals we're paid for when my father passed away 5 years ago, including the stone. She stopped going to daycare in October 2011, so that is $900.00 she is saving. When I ask him about her money he can't give a straight answer followed by "dont trust me?" In the last 5 years he has purchased a new stove, refrigerator, washer/ dryer, bed, and now a newer suv. He has 3 boys 18,16 & 12, all three have glasses and have dental problems. He works and she might clean a couple of houses per week. Just resent mom's. brother passed away leaving her several thousand s of $. My brother & his family are religious so you wouldn't think they wouldn't be miscellaneous but who is to say now a days.

jeannegibbs Mar 2012
Does your mother have a will? To whom does she leave the house? Is your mother on Medicaid?

Has your mother been getting a pension or SS money? Where has that money gone? What does she have in savings or other assets?

What does your brother say when you ask him what death expeses he is thinking about?

Lilygirl Mar 2012
Does your brother have POA? If your mother can afford it, you should be paid for her care. I'm so sorry, such a difficult situation for you. Take care.

mymommy Mar 2012
When my father passed away 4 yrs ago we paid for both of their funeral arrangements, tombstone, as far as I know sheiks caught up with all medical bills. It just makes me wonder what my brother is doing with her money.

NancyH Mar 2012
Well what are you going to do with your mom's body after she dies? She has to be put somewhere right? So there's the cost of a casket or cremation so you'll need a funeral home probably. I'm not sure what you're asking I guess.

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