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yes Asked January 2012

Should my mother leave anything to my 2 sisters who will not even talk to her are do anything for her?

Iam a 59 year old male who had my own place before my mother 77 became ill.I ended up moving in with her and now Iam her only care givever.My mother went and change her will giving me her house now the 2 sisters will have nothing to do with either of us.My mother has a CD in the bank with payable upon death with my 2 sisters on it.Iam asking you readers of this should she change that?

JessieBelle Jan 2012
I am really in the same situation, though my brothers and I are not angry at each other. My parents left me the house because I am caring for them. It is not really a bargain, because it would take more money than I can afford to fix it. My brothers don't participate in the caregiving. They have children and grandchildren they care for, and are not in a position to give care to my parents. My parents nor I would consider taking them out of the will. They did not include my SIL that was married to a brother that died. I encouraged them to put her in the will. The will to me is more of a statement of caring than it is about money. The amount of money is not great enough to fret about. But then really, even millions would not be enough to fret about. People are a lot more important to me than money.

NancyH Jan 2012
Mr1fool, It really comes down to what your mother wants to do, BUT if she's leaving them out of her will to punish them, then it's really YOU that's going to be punished in the end. I'm the same age as you, and believe me we're NOT spring chickens anymore. Which means that when you get ill and need help, are you going to dismiss any help from your sisters entirely? If the answer is yes, then there's your answer.

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yes Jan 2012
no nothing give them what she gives your mother nothing

brandywine1949 Jan 2012
She should at least give them something. I think she should give them the CD and you got the house already. How much is the CD? Death is a long time and once you are deceased you can't come back and fix it. To avoid ill feelings, she should give all something. 77 is still relatively young nowadays and she may use all the money in the CD and the house. But she may go today.

ShadowChild1 Jan 2012
There are several options here. Leaving your sisters on the CD may help you in the long run just to avoid animosity from your sisters. If you feel that is unfair, you might suggest to your mother, keeping in mind it is her money, that your sisters might treasure pieces of jewelry, furniture, or some sort of item from the house that indicates love. As jeannegibbs mentioned, the CD may need to be used by your mother anyway. My main goal in this type of situation has always been to avoid long term animosity and strife. Best wishes for a peaceful solution to this.
Rebecca

jeannegibbs Jan 2012
Your mother should do what she feels in her heart is best.

Your sisters apparently felt disinherited. Did they know about the CD? Or are they miffed it is not comparable in value to a house?

Your mother cannot control your sisters' behavior or your behavior. She can control her own. What she "should" do what she decides is best.

She could justify removing her daughters from her will because they have cut her out of their lives. She could add up what your caregiving services would have cost if she had paid for them from strangers, and change her will totally in your favor as compensation. Or she could feel that even though her children are not equal in their service to her she loves them all equally and she wants to ensure each has a meaningful legacy. It is her money; it is her decision.

Also, consider that she may live another 20 years and may need to use her resources for her own care, which changes the inheritance picture dramatically.

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