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laurastaab Asked September 2011

My mom is being asked to move facilities because of her sleep walking. Where do we place our mom when no one will keep her?

Our mom has been moved three times since January due to the fact that she is a wanderer and will not sleep, even at night. The most she sleeps at a time is about three hours. While she is very sweet we have been told that she is "a lot of work" because of her constant movement. Yesterday I was told we need to move her again because she is requiring a one on one staff member in her current facility, which is a nursing home. We cannot find the right fit for her, we have had her in an assisted living facility, a memory care facility and now a nursing home. What do we do next?

EXPERT Carol Bradley Bursack, CDSGF Sep 2011
You may have to look at hiring an in-home person to stay with her (two or three for shifts), while she lives in her own apartment. This stage will pass and she will begin less physical stages which will then likely make her "easier" to manage in a nursing home. I'm surprised that a nursing home couldn't handle her, but they are different all over the country. Good luck - this is tough.
Carol

BridgetW Sep 2011
In Indiana I know they cannot ask you to leave a facility without locating another place to send the patient. Sounds like the facility is just LAZY.,.!!!! They are under staffed and do not want to manage your mother's care. Maybe if they took the time to speak to her and get to know her they could figure out why she was up at night and try to manage this. If she is not loud then maybe they could give her a "job" of folding towels, making sure lights are out, God forbid someone sit down and have DECAF coffee or Tea with her and focus on HER and HER needs.. OK, sorry, my company works with Dementia and ALZ patients and our Care Partners are trained to know how to work with all types of clients and families. Fight for your mother's rights, she has some..!!!
Blessings,
Bridget

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yellowfeever Sep 2011
This is ridiculious!!! Having days and nights confused or just being a few hour sleeper doesn't qualify for removal. What is so hard about watching her at night verses during the day? My Grandma has been in a PCH for a yr now, and she has NEVER slept thru the night. The staff has adjusted things to cater to her and others with the same problem. They put them in the main sitting area in front of TV and give them snacks.They look after her and others as it was daytime. The owner told me that no two patients are the same and they are in business to take care of patients and if they have do accomidate certain things for each patient they will. And she told me that having ones that sleep at night and during the day balances out the work load for the staff. My grandma enjoys being awake at night cause she says they spoil her and she gets more attention than during the day. She really likes the fact that some of the workers bring in Mt. Dew for her at night because she can't have her fav. drink with others at mealtimes because alot are on special diets.

If you lived in PA I would recommend this PCH. This place is the best in the area here. Alot of times they have waiting list up to a year. They get patients that no where else will take them.

Its such ashame about your mother, I would honestly check into smaller PCH that will have the staff and time to take care of your mother whether its 3am or 3pm. I truly think alot of this is happening to your mother because of the laziness of night shift staff and their complaining. Which is not fair to her or you.
And if they say its a safety issue with her being up at night in cause of falls. Well my grandma has falling during the day and at night. As far as wandering is concerned if the place has alarms on doors or lock doors they would know if she would try to go outside.

I hope you find someone here that is in your area that can help you!!

trudas Sep 2011
Where are you from? My house that I am in charge of has people that are like her. We don't have a problem with that at all. We have awake staff 24 hours so it keeps them busy at night which is not a bad thing. We have houses throughout the US and most of our AL's are the same way as mine. Contact me and I can see how I can help you.

kimkathleen Sep 2011
I would consult a geriatic doctor. Also a baby gate might be a solution, or a chain lock. But from my experience, if you offer a reward (something she likes) if she does not leave the room till daylight that might do the trick. I had a lady client who would do anything for those little fish in a can. I took her to the grocery store and she went right to them. This small reward of a little fish was something she looked forward to each morning and she agreed to get up (her problem). Silly but works. Maybe she would like a certain movie or song on a tape player in the am if she stays in her room all night. Do try it!

hart Sep 2011
I had a bit of the same problem with my mother getting up all the time to go to the bathroom. I found a place in La Jolla that specializes in Alzheimer's and would work with us. The director works with families from all over the county. They have staff on call all night.

Stephan Sep 2011
Is she getting any exercise at all so that she is tired at night? I know it's bad to over-medicate, but do sleeping pills help?

anonymous20452 Sep 2011
I am surprised they aren't drugging her up to the point she doesn't have the strength to walk the halls...some nursing home staff want to go in, make their rounds and then go back to the nurses station to sit and snack and drink coffee, instead of just allowing them to ask her to move, why not report the nursing home to the County Health Department or The Department of Aging? Maybe someone in higher ranks needs to stop in and check up on things.

pltrickey Sep 2011
Thank you for posting this question. It made me think, someday we may all have that problem, waking up in the middle of the night and needing to get circulation going in the legs. I, too wondered about the places that would frown on walking around at night. Have you explored all the facilities in your area? There needs to be more compassion and less restrictions on our elderly in these places.

jeannegibbs Sep 2011
Ask the nursing home what they would do if the poor dear didn't have family. How would they discharge her then? Probably to a state agency? Talk to that agency to see what they would do.

Your mother is certainly not the first person in your state to have these symptoms. Finding out how they are handled when there is no family might give you some clues to available options.

Good luck!

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