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sMiLe Asked July 2011

What should I do with my mom's accidents?

At least 3 times a week, my mom, soils or wets her bed. I go to her room to check on her every morning, and quite often, it's dirty. She knows what she's done and then she starts crying. I've told her that I'm not upset with her, and I keep suggesting to her that she wears diapers when she goes to bed but she refuses. I want her to feel better when she wakes up every morning but I just don't know how. Sometimes she wakes up in the middle of the night and starts crying when she realizes what she's done, and usually, i just clean her up, clean up the bed, and then I tell her to go back to sleep, But it's really tiring. I've tried everything, telling her to go to the washroom before bed, limiting her fluids before bed, etc, etc.Help anyone?

jeannegibbs Jul 2011
Incontinent supplies (not diapers, please) take up an aisle in most grocery and drug stores. This is not an isolated problem that few people face. They don't make incontinence go away, but they make cleanup easier and reduce the issue to one of practicality. This is what happens. This is how we deal with it. No shame involved. In addition to assuring her that you are not upset, have you tried affirming your mother's feelings? "Oh Mom, old age sure isn't all golden is it? I feel so bad about the indignity of not being able to control your bodily functions. I know I'll probably face this some day, too. Most people do if they live long enough. But that doesn't mean we have to like it! You go ahead and cry as much as you want. We'll get through this together."

Has the night-time incontinence been discussed with her doctor? It is part of her total health picture and should be reported.

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