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It's only occasional but she got quite upset tonight when I told her her pants were wet. She said she spilled some water. I let it go for the time being and changed the subject. She's 90 and almost blind. She's lost so much I want to leave her her dignity.

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If her mind is still sharp, can't you have a low-key, gentle discussion with her about the consequences of having poor skin sensitivity and poor vision if she should have the common experience of the elderly of occassional incontinence? In order to protect against the occasional accident which she might not even be aware of she might like to try the special panties they make for women like her. Or, if the accidents are infrrequent and she doesn't want special panties, would she like you to mention when her clothes need changing?

I would think she would feel more dignified knowing that she is not going around wet without even being aware of it.
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Thank you but she is still able to do for herself. She has lost her skin sensitivity so doesn't feel the wetness. Her mind is sharp.
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Would it help to stock her undies drawer with nice new undies that just happen to be panty-style Depends? If she comments on them, could they be "to help protect your skin from spills"? Or "I'm trying to cut down on laundry and I thought we'd both try these disposable undies"?
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