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themiddlekid Asked May 2011

My Mom is very into "Chat Forums." The problem is she gives out her address and phone number to people. How can I convince her to stop for her own safety?

My Mom is very into "Chat Forums." The problem is she gives out her address and phone number to people. The latest round involves a mental health forum where she has become involved with someone claiming to have multiple-personality disorder. She has taken to sending gifts to the different personalities. I don't dispute that there are people with this disorder, just that it's unsafe for my 83 year old Mom, or any one else, to be giving out personal contact info and sending gifts to the different personalities, talking on the phone with them etc. How can I convince her to stop for her own safety?

EXPERT Carol Bradley Bursack, CDSGF May 2011
As with so many things, someone outside of the family should talk with her. Elders often don't want to be "told what to do" by their adult children. Does she have a trusted friend who can talk with her? Someone in her age group, or at least of an older generation, may get through to her. If not, you could even see if someone at the police station could tell her that this is unsafe. You are right that she shouldn't be doing this.
Good luck,
Carol

mywhitesasha May 2011
Maybe you could find a way to put a lock on certain sites. I know that there are programs available for parents to use so that teens don't have access to things. Sometimes I have found that distracting my father helps, not that he is doing what your mom does, but he has tried to view things that are inappropriate. I set him up to play simple games on the computer. He seems to enjoy that. Good luck and I hope you find something that resolves your issue.

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hapfra May 2011
Giving out this information is not a good idea-and can possibly lead to a negative result--Is it possible for you or someone try to explain this to your Mom...If not you might tell her she is blocked from using the computer, which can be done with 'parental controls'---and perhaps she may see the light.
Best,
Hap

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