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shenderson Asked October 2010

My Mom lives at home, and has early memory problems. She is lonely, and needs some structure and activities, what can I do to help her?

naricinfo Oct 2010
A great source of information for local services is your local Area Agency on Aging. You can look them up through www.eldercare.gov. A representative from their office can tell you more about local adult day care, activities, in home services, an in-home evaluation, and more. You might also check with your local library or the state library for the blind and physically handicapped. They have lending programs for books on tape (including the equipment).

ABLEDATA's database at www.abledata.com has a great list of low-cost resource for recreation and hobbies for people with low vision and limited mobility. They also have an excellent list of technology resources for memory and cognitive disorders.

patrica61 Oct 2010
Make sure you are there for her. Have a friend stop by and sit with her watch tv or a movie. have family photos around. Play some nice soft music. maybe even color or play a game. if you belong to a church or community center they may have bingo. She may like that. Remember if she is started to forget at times there is no harm in taking her to a family doctor. Hang in there..

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patrica61 Oct 2010
You don't have to be old to forget things, we all do it. but with the eldery it may be s sign of many things wrong. Take Mom first to her primary docotor speak to the docotor very open. tell him what you have notice and ask for a simple test to be done. he will refer you to a spcialist and they will run the test. Also make sure all the legal papers are in order/ Will/ Durable power of Attorney/ Heath Expoxy/ and her wishes if something happens. You can start by also making sure there are no bills left not paid or mail not opened. look for things out of place. This will help you and also the doctor when you go see them. I was told my mom had the begining of alztiemer's but that was wrong she had it for a while. I notice alot. I had to sell her home and move her to Florida, . We mmade our home shild proff and I had to quit my job. I was informed I would be able to take care of her on my own. Well only four days, then she hit me so hard and passed out, she would not let me give her medicine to her. The Tampa Florida resuce was there in 2 minutes. They halp me get her medicine into her by holding her down and advise she was on too much medinecs and to ill for myself to care for her in my home. We were lucky we did go to ten different places before I even brought mom from New York to Florida and found a family style beautigul clean assisting living that hadd day care, thats what i was going to do. But the took her in and I was there 3 times a week plus on the weekend and monday to help with the activities. I did some sleep overs and helped out when ever I could. She passed away last year Oct 5, 2009 in my arms. I knew it was close by when Tamap general told me in Sept 2009. She has so many falls in years. Seek out the advice of the doctor, I did found out that the visiting nurses and aides that wee going to the house DID NOTHING at all. I walked in several times. You can look up elder care in you state they can also help you out. but do take care of yourself, it can be a tool on your health also. Hang in .

LME Oct 2010
My mother loved to read, so I would get her large print books and magazines. In the beginning she could do easy Find-a-word puzzles. Also, I went to a teacher store and bought her first, second and third grade addition, subtraction, and multiplication books. She had to stop using those when she tried to multiply three digit numbers, but, in the beginning, it was something to do.

nanlinjoe Oct 2010
I don't know where you live, but my mom went thru the same thing. She lived independently but doesn't drive and was very dependent upon family coming to see her or take her out. I found out about 2 senior day care facilities nearby that provided door-to-door van transportation. She was picked up at 8:30 and given a light breakfast at the center. There were various activities such as music, arts and crafts, movies, hobby interest groups, etc. They provided a hot lunch and took her inside her house around 2:30 or 3:00 pm.
Eventually, she needed more b/c of panic attacks and depression so she now lives in an ALF nearby, where I visit her 2-4 times a week.

Vernon Oct 2010
Initially, I thought I could do most of what needed to be done for my Mom. Inasmuch as the circumstances of my own life allowed me the opportunity to do so, I took her to the Mall and for country drives every day and often during the evening, as well. We always had a great time. For any number of reasons encompassing my feelings of dis-serving her, I didn't want to take her to a Day Care Center at all. It was only when it was suggested by a friend that she might find other great times at such a center that I finally gave in and just to see what it was like for her, took her. Upon seeing her excitement as we left the center and hearing her joy at meeting and 'playing' with people her own age - I realized what a dis-service I had provided by NOT previously allowing her such an opportunity. Therefore - I STRONGLY recommend you discover what options are available along those lines.

NOTE: Though memory problems are not necessarily indicative of Alzheimer's Disease, you may wish to interview a center that (also) cares for people who've become afflicted by that disease. That, because the staff members already have experience in that arena of life and may well be able to help your Mother better enjoy her visits.

Good luck.

pgscott Oct 2010
I placed my mother-in-law, who also has early memory problems, in an Adult Day Care Center for 4 days a week. She exercises, plays Bingo, talks, has lunch and is surrounded by caring staff. It is the best thing we could have done for her.
If she has Long Term Care insurance, that can help pay for part of the cost. Look up your county's Dept of Aging. These Centers will be listed there and many offer transportation for an additional cost. Good Luck.

bates757 Oct 2010
Hi,
What you are describing is very common among seniors living alone. Here are some ideas. Check for senior centers in your area. Most serve lunch and provide activities. Some provide transportation. Dial-A-Ride and taxi senior discount vouchers are available in some areas.
Home Care can provide companion services both for in home and to go on errands with the senior.
Find a large church. They frequently have small groups for seniors.
Hope this helps.
Gary at Care-To-Go Phoenix

hapfra Oct 2010
Hi--memory problems? Can this be the beginning of EOD or related? I would have your Mom elvaluated-as it is best to catch this ASAP----then proceed to possibly senior day care-where she will be supervised, as well as have socialization-it will also free up time for you,
Best to you and your family,
Hap

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