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L
lenore874 Asked June 2010

My grandparents both lived with my mother, until she and my grandmother got into a fight...

My grandparents were both living at my mothers until recently. My grandmother and my mother do not get along and they had a blow-out so my grandmother came to my home. She wants to be with my grandfather but my mom will not let my grandmother go back and I can not take care of him. My grandmother wants to know what her legal options are as far as getting my grandfather and living here with some type of assisted care help, possibly with my brother or a retirement home as long as they are together.

EXPERT Carol Bradley Bursack, CDSGF Jun 2010
I would check with your social services people to see what local options are. You also may want to go on your state's Web site and look under aging services. You will find some good local contacts there.
You may even have to see an elder attorney. Good luck. Your grandma must have some rights.
Carol

toadballet1 Jun 2010
Before calling in social services, etc., I would highly recommend a "cooling off period." I would make sure that what your grandmother is asking for is what she really wants and that it is reasonable and possible.
My mother has a habit of making hasty decisions, regretting them, and letting everyone else play "clean up."
Sometimes dragging public services into the fray just makes things worse.
good luck

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sebring Jun 2010
i agree with carols comment, social services, senior services, legal aid in your town would be the place to start..
youve got a tough one there, inbetween family that are fighting is a bad place to be for sure! good luck

linda09 Jun 2010
i agree with lilliput .
sometimes elders just dont like to be told what to do , maybe ur mom is smothering her , crowding her , give gma a space . its best bet is to find out what hapen and why she got mad , etc ,
fix the pblm . if it cant be fix then do what carol said .
good luck .

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