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shill6958 Asked September 2009

What do you do when your mother fights any and every suggestion you have?

My big question is what do you do when you mother fights any and every suggestion that you have. It is like she is a active senior trapped in an aging body. She wants only to do the things that she could do 10-15 years ago and is not willing to settle for anything less. So bottom line, she watches TV and becomes more and more bitter. Then when I suggest an activity that might be more "age appropriate" her only answer is NO.

I feel like I am going crazy, I am angry more and more, and now I am beginning to lose patience and lash out verbally.

How do I cope and how do I get her to be a little more flexible.

txmaggie Sep 2009
My mom went through that stage, thought she was 21 years old and could do anything. Plus, she's a perfectionist, and when she couldn't do things as well as she thought she could, she would get soooo frustrated. She, too, refused to try anything that would make things easier on her.

Have you tried taking her to a senior center? My mom cried all the way there, but once there she enjoyed herself. That only lasted for a few months, when she decided not to go there anymore. But at least it got her out of her house for a while, and she could see that there were people far worse off than she was, and gave her a different reference point. Plus, the suggestions from the staff there (even though they were the same as mine), were much better received by her. I'm thinking it might have to do with parents giving up control and their independence to their children- they fight losing both so hard, and we are the ones "taking it away".

I totally understand where you are with the loss of patience.

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