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Piratess Asked March 2008

How can I care for my mother who is overbearing and not rational?

Hi folks, just joined today. I have been helping my mother ever since my dad died 9 years ago. She will be 84 soon and is still as controlling as ever. I cannot bear to live with her unless it is a life threatening situation. We fight all the time, because she is so stubborn and a bit mental all her life. Does anyone else out there have parent(s) that is overbearing and not rational? Any tips?

AgingCareEditor Mar 2008
Piratess, first of all, welcome to AgingCare.com. We're glad you found us, and you will find many others who are in similar situations. First of all, you are far from alone! The most popular comment people post on this website has to do with their parents' belligerent, controlling, condascending, or overbearing behavior. It's tough to deal with. But try to look at it from your mom's point of view. She is likely afraid and angry and is taking it out on those closest to her. Try to remain calm, don't let her drag you into an argument, and let you know you love her and want to help. If your mother needs more care than you can give, you can look into some home health services, or live-in help. Here are a couple of links that might help:
1. ElderCare Locator
http://www.eldercare.gov/Eldercare.NET/Public/Index.aspx
2. An answer from one of our experts on dealing with a difficult parent:
https://www.agingcare.com/articles/dementia-and-undesirable-behavior-changes-how-do-i-handle-dads-profanity-112079.htm

I think you will find the support you need here on the site. Stay positive!

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