I have been caring for my father for 8 years. I moved into his home with him. I also have a full time job but with Covid, mostly from home.

We were getting my dad ready for a routine colonoscopy when he got weak and fell. The ambulance took him to emergency and he was admitted to the hospital with sepsis and pneumonia. 2.5 weeks later he's still in the hospital and every time they talk about sending him home, something new comes up.

Sepsis, pneumonia, kidneys, blockage in colon resulting in colostomy surgery, oxygen, catheter, vomiting and now his digestive system is not working and he has a tube draining the stomach. They dont really know what's going on now.

Hes such a good man and a sweetheart. I just wanted him to be able to come home so I can care for him. Now I dont know if hes going to make it out of here.

I've been anxious and depressed. Each morning I wake with a knot in my stomach and a feeling of dread. All I can do is visit, hold his hand and love him. I had no idea he was so sick before he went to the hospital and I live with him!

Most of this is just typing to get it out.

This discussion has been closed for comment. Start a New Discussion.
Find Care & Housing
Dear "LoveMyDad43,"

Your screenname says it all. I'm heartbroken for you as you go through the constant uncertainty now that he's in the hospital and doesn't seem to be able to get well enough to go home.

I know it's even more disconcerting to you that the hospital doctors/staff don't really know what's going on.

Of course you are anxious and depressed as well as waking up each morning with a knot in your stomach and feeling of dread. I've been there and the feeling is surreal. I know you're especially feeling bad because you live with him and don't understand how you could have no idea as to how sick he was. Sometimes, I think it's that we want to have so much hope that we can't see the forest for the trees. We have so many things to do when taking care of our loved ones that unfortunately, we're bound to miss things. Plus, most of us are just laymen - not doctors or nurses.

You really seem to already know the answer as you said it yourself - all you can do is visit, hold his hand and love him. Please continue to do just that.

You and your dad will be in my thoughts and prayers and may God give you the strength to face each day as it comes. As "AlvaDeer" said, I hope you will update us when you are able to. A big, warm hug to you.

Take care of you and your "sweetheart" of a dad.

I am so sorry. I have to say as a nurse that I saw many instances of a perforated bowel from colonoscopies, and I think it is understated as a risk. If the swelling, pain and "blockage" started within days of his initial colonoscopy I think he may be dealing with perforation of the bowel from his procedure, especially in that he has ended now with a colon surgery. Unfortunately, the papers signed before this procedure do always list this as a possible side effect of this commonly done test.
I don't want to frighten you, but do hope you will be aware that if the IV antibiotics aren't able to deal with the sepsis the systemic illness may be fatal/could be fatal. Our bacteria are becoming immune to so many common antibiotics these days.
My brother died of sepsis in May. His was from a mere cellulitis of the leg. Infection that goes systemic is so hard on our bodies, and the more so when we are older. It can send the body systems into shock and shut down. It is impossible to predict how this will go. He sounds to be getting good care.
I wish you luck and hope you see improvement soon. I hope you will update us.

Great big warm hug!

I have had loved ones that have gone down hill for years and then I have been faced with the sudden demise, I believe that you and he are blessed if he has not been suffering for years and he passes quickly if they can't give him quality of life.

May God grant you strength and wisdom during this difficult time.

Start a Discussion
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter