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NeedHelpWithMom Posted April 2023

What stories have inspired you the most about seniors who live in a facility? Facilities are definitely not all gloom and doom.

I watch a show on television called Daily Blast Live. Today the topic was on comeback stories. I heard a truly amazing story. The show is streamed and I highly recommend that you watch it.


 


This young healthy 22 year old woman went out for a run with her beloved dog. She was hit by a car and bleeding out, had numerous injuries and just about died. The dog instantly died due to being trapped under the car.


 


She was in a coma for 18 months and down to 64 pounds. She spoke of her dreams while in a coma. The hospital didn’t know what else to do for her and sent her to a nursing home. She couldn’t walk, see, or speak. She looked a mess.


 


The seniors rallied around her and taught her everything that she needed to learn to cope in her condition. To date she has had well over 100 surgeries to rebuild her body.


 


She was blind for 10 years and the seniors (some who were retired teachers) helped her to learn braille. Even the seniors with Alzheimer’s disease helped her! The seniors had bake sales to raise money for her to go to specialized training.


 


Eventually, she underwent an another surgery and was finally able again in one eye. She was able to build a career.


 


I was so captivated by this woman that I decided to do a Google search on her and she has a TED talk from years ago online as well.


 


Her name is Ramona Pierson. It’s so refreshing to hear comeback stories.


 


One thing that she said that really struck a chord with me was that she said that the biggest thing that the seniors in the facility taught her was how to learn how to learn. She acknowledged their wisdom.


 


These seniors in the nursing home truly enabled her to become a ‘comeback’ story. Don’t miss this inspirational story. It will give you chills!

NeedHelpWithMom May 2023
Thank you, venting.

I appreciate your thoughtfulness of adding this information.

The entire show was on ‘comeback’ stories which were incredibly uplifting to watch.

My intention of posting this thread was to share her incredible story and to hear other inspiring stories.

I certainly do not post inaccurate information as I was accused of by a poster who knows absolutely nothing about me. I wasn’t reporting hearsay either. I listened to an interview from Ramona Pierson telling her own incredible story.

ventingisback May 2023
This seems to be a link to the woman's story. Here it says NH:
https://www.facebook.com/DailyBlastLive/videos/learn-how-to-learn-how-nursing-home-residents-helped-22-year-old-thrive-after-18/1272980616761249/

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NeedHelpWithMom May 2023
elinsy,

I recently heard her being interviewed on Daily Blast Live. She was telling her remarkable story. You can stream it online if you like. She mentioned going to a nursing home in that interview.

Her story is captivating. She went from being a healthy young ex marine to a woman who was sent to a nursing home. She was only 22 years old.

I do not appreciate being compared me to others who create fake news.

I am simply sharing a remarkable, inspirational story with others. Feel free not to read my thread if you find fault with it. There are tons of others that you can read.

ventingisback May 2023
@Elisny
You wrote, "warehouses for the elderly and disabled".

I agree, there are many NHs in the world like that. (I'm sure there are exceptions and - great - ones out there!). Thanks for your advocacy and warnings to others. I appreciate it.

elisny May 2023
@NeedHelpWithMom -- Please provide me the precise name of the Nursing Home where all this alleged support occurred. In fact, based on what I have read and listened to (including this TED talk by Ramona herself:

https://www.springest.net/tedtalks/ramona-pierson-an-unexpected-place-of-healing

The seniors you reference were in a "senior citizens' home" NOT a nursing home -- it was a "retirement" community otherwise known as a 55+ community. If you listen to the TED talk you will hear Ramona herself say she was in an apartment, residents had storage lockers, residents called a meeting, etc.

I find it painful that you have equated the community support she received at a retirement community to support at a nursing home. You have created misinformation (which is an epidemic online) that undermines the advocacy many of us engage in for people warehoused in nursing homes.

I would appreciate it if you would correct your entry. Thank you.

NeedHelpWithMom May 2023
You’re welcome, Llama.

Llamalover47 May 2023
Need: Thank you.

NeedHelpWithMom May 2023
Elsiny,

Read her story or listen to her TedTalk. It’s an incredible story!

Seniors can have bake sales! I did fundraising all of the time where I had items donated. Or perhaps they talked with the cooks at the NH to bake to raise money for their 22 year old guest.

The seniors in this particular facility were absolutely amazing! Please google her name and read it. It’s a remarkable story that I know is an exception. That’s what makes it so special.

elisny May 2023
As I read this, it is a misrepresentation of "facilities." It states she was in a nursing home. Then it states that "seniors" (that is, NOT the facility) helped her, and that "seniors" held bake sales (obviously those weren't seniors living in the facility) for her.

Of course, I am glad Ms. Pierson had such a recovery and success in her life.

But to suggest this is a story to imply "warehouses for the elderly and disabled" (nursing homes in the U.S.) aren't all (or certainly most) warehouses for humans is to belie the truth of the matter and is nothing more than propaganda.

Way2tired May 2023
Not a story but a theory ,
Could part of the reason it may seem gloom and doom is because a disproportionate amount of the very unhappy or difficult elderly ( not always their fault especially with dementia for example ) end up in nursing homes ?

It’s difficult to live at home with someone like that.
My friend took her aunt into her home but not her own mother . Both had dementia but the aunt was cooperative , happy . She lived with my friend for a few years until she had a stroke then was in SNF for about a year until she died .
The Mom was too contrary , uncooperative she went to AL then MC .
My friend was an only child , mom had divorced when she was 2. The aunt never married , my friend was soul beneficiary . She ended up using her mother’s money and the aunt’s money ( aunt had passed ) for memory care for her mother until it ran out and she went to SNF on Medicaid .

NeedHelpWithMom May 2023
Llama,

What a sweet story about your friend.

Llamalover47 May 2023
Need: A friend's husband suffered from Alzheimer's and was in a nursing home for 12 years. Even though she did not possess a DL, she ever missed a day of visiting him for the entire time, making sure he was well dressed with hair combed and clean shaven. That equated to 4,380 visits! Of note is that her home was spotless. Even though she was not the patient, she was an inspiration to me.

NeedHelpWithMom May 2023
venting,

Yeah, okay but it also happens with posts that are questions. Not just on my posts, others too.

ventingisback May 2023
AC does that when it's a general topic, and not a question about caring for a specific individual.

NeedHelpWithMom May 2023
Once again, AgingCare moved my post into the discussion section! Why? I posted this in questions!!! If I would have wanted it in ‘discussion’ I would have placed it there. Who decides to move our questions to discussions and why?

NeedHelpWithMom May 2023
Betskand,

Music is a wonderful universal language. I’m quite sure that they enjoyed your visits. Your posting touched my heart.

Play any Sinatra songs? He was my mom’s favorite! My mom’s physical therapist used to play Sinatra tunes for her to exercise with. She did home health PT and OT in her 90’s to help with strength and balance issues related to her Parkinson’s disease. She worked so hard during her rehab stay in the nursing home.

Mom lived to be 95 years old. My dad died at 85.

‘When I Grow Too Old To Dream’ is such a great old tune!

NeedHelpWithMom May 2023
Touch,

Wow! 104! Amazing!!! I love how she calls you to see how you are. That’s awesome 👏.

ConnieCaretaker May 2023
Don't remember where he lived, but I really liked, "Tuesdays with Morrie."

TouchMatters May 2023
My 103 year old client who lives in Independent Living in Marin County.

She was a pilot, in the United Nations ... and so much more.
We will be celebrating her 104th birthday in June.

She gets out and walks the halls ... with poles or a walker. She is active and focused on doing what she needs to do to keep going.

Over the last year or two, "she" calls ME to see how I am doing. I absolutely love her. I worked with her minimally for years and then shifted to a friendship.

Gena / Touch Matters

Sample May 2023
My parents lived their last few years in a retirement facility until they died. It was a nice place it just took all their money to live there. They even got their best friend to move there too

graygrammie May 2023
I'm commenting simply to be able to come back later and read your answers. This could be such an uplifting thread to read through but I don't have time right now. See you all later!

betskand May 2023
Here's one I think about a lot. I was in a professional string quartet for years and we got hired to do short concerts at a care facility here. For them we didn't play complicated things but used a series of arrangements of (oldish) semi-popular music.

At one concert the listeners were arranged in front of us, many in wheelchairs. One was an old man who looked absolutely out-of-it -- slumped over, not seeming to know what was going on around him, unresponsive to greetings of others.

We had an arrangement (very beautiful, you can hear it on Youtube) called "When I Grow Too Old to Dream." When we started to play it the old man straightened up, looked out at everyone, and started to sing it quite strongly with a wonderful voice -- every word perfect. We in the quartet had knots in throats -- our violist played it faithfully while actually crying the whole time. When he finished everyone applauded and he acknowledged the applause. Later he seemed to slump back into nothingness, but he still had that song in him...we hope he remembered it. There are frequently some keys that may not be obvious into the minds and hearts of those who are almost gone.

NeedHelpWithMom Apr 2023
Awwwwww, so sweet!

Fawnby Apr 2023
When my mom was in AL, she regularly had her hair done in the facility’s beauty salon. She became friends with her hairdresser, who said that she was married to a wealthy man and didn’t have to work, but she liked making her clients there feel beautiful. She told mom that she donated her salary and tips to charity.

She also helped residents from time to time if they were having trouble paying bills. One time she learned that a resident’s daughter was financially strapped due to a divorce, and she sent her a birthday card containing a $100 bill!

Fawnby Apr 2023
I do agree! When I know of people who are living at home in a sickroom atmosphere with all the smells and difficulty, I wish their caregivers would take time to find out how good care facilities are now.

Fawnby Apr 2023
My mom's large care facility held a dance twice a week with (usually) a band or (sometimes) a deejay. They brought in dance hosts to dance with the ladies. The bar was open, and there were tables around the spacious dance floor where you could sit, have a drink or snack, and watch. The residents enjoyed all of this and so many loved dancing with the dance hosts and each other. I went with my parents.

One woman from the memory care unit always attended. She was beautiful, blond and always had her hair and nails done perfectly. She dressed in really nice clothes. She was a doctor's wife who had early onset dementia; she might have been 50 at the oldest. An attendant always brought her to the party and sat with her.

When the music started playing, Beautiful Lady got up and danced! It put new life into her, and she was a good dancer and so graceful. She could adapt her steps to any music. The expression on her face was pure happiness. In those moments, you wouldn't know that she had dementia. You might think that she was making a spectacle of herself, but there was nothing of that about it. She was having her best life.

When people on this site start moaning about not wanting to "put" their LO in a "home" and how they promised they never would, and they're completely miserable and exhausted but don't want to break that stupid promise, I think of Beautiful Lady. She'd have been denied joy in her life if Dr. Husband had decided to keep her at their home because he didn't want her "put" in a "home."

Lesson learned.

NeedHelpWithMom Apr 2023
What a wonderful story. People definitely need to hear stories like your mom’s experience.

Mountaingyrl Apr 2023
My mother entered a nursing home due to multiple falls and infections. Since she has been in the facility (3.5 years), her health has improved dramatically. So much so, she no longer takes some medications she took for years. She didn't recognize me when she went in and now, she does, I think due to taking her off of many medications and the social interaction she now gets (she had none before).

She has started doing things she hasn't done for years, especially crafts. She plays bingo, paints and spends time in communal activities. Physically she hasn't improved, but due to a serious accident 25 years ago. there was no expectation she would.

Not all facilities are bad, and I hear about so many people writing them all off because they LO's don't want to go in. Carers often drain themselves, emotionally, financially and physically, they alienate themselves all because they are afraid to even consider a facility. Not everything is great for my mom, but it is much better than being care for at home, by people who can't provide for a high level of care.

NeedHelpWithMom Apr 2023
She’s incredible! The seniors were phenomenal! Please tell me what you think of it after you finish listening to it.

The TED talk is from awhile ago. It’s great. The interview that I saw was on today. Also great!

XenaJada Apr 2023
I WILL be looking for that TED talk!
thank you!

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