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funkygrandma59 Posted August 2022

Is Aging Care becoming "woke" like Twitter, Facebook etc. by deleting me from their email list over my concern about certain words used ?

I must first say that I tried to contact the administration with my concern, but apparently I must be blocked as when I clicked on the link, nothing happened.
Yesterday I commented on a post where the person used what I considered to be using God's name in vain when they used g*dd**n(it was spelled out completely)and the word **** in their question/post. As a Christian I take great offense to God's name being used in vain. And it remained unchanged even after I brought it to their attention.
And I only did as I have noticed over the several years that I've been on this forum that words like sh*t, h*ll, a*s and the like have always been changed with the the asterisk added(like I did in my post here)and to me those mild words don't begin to compare to using God's name in vain in my book anyway, yet they kept it unchanged.
And so I called them(Aging Care)out on it and said that if they were going to censor some of us they needed to be censoring ALL of us, and it wasn't right to pick and choose as it could interpreted as discrimination.
It was because of my comments apparently that I was removed from their email list, as I didn't receive the caregiver connection(when I had comments that were "liked" by others yesterday), last night, nor did I receive the Aging Care Forum email this morning that I get every morning.
I have been a good contributor over the almost 3 years I've been on here, and even though I don't come on a whole lot anymore(for varies reasons) the thought that what is supposed to be a legit forum to help caregivers who really need it, has now become "woke"(like so many other platforms) because they don't like being called out for being unfair, is disheartening to say the least.
I thought I still lived in America where I had freedom of speech, but apparently that only applies if someone agrees with what you're saying huh? It's not only sad but a shame that Aging Care has jumped on the "woke" bandwagon.
So to all of you folks who are still in the throes of caregiving, I wish you all the very best and will remind you to make sure that you're taking good care of yourselves while on this journey, as you matter too.
God bless you all.

bundleofjoy Aug 2022
hugs! well...we all try to write politely...

...i can understand admin's censorship of bad words with asterisk ***.
...and i can understand people who say, they want more consistency. more censorship! more asterisk ***.

totally off topic:
i have to say:
i'm someone who never swears...and then suddenly when something happens, sometimes a word comes out of my mouth (by the way, it's quite a mild word), and i'm totally surprised/shocked - so surprised that i'm much more concerned about that, than whatever actually just happened. maybe it's therapeutic for me :). my attention is totally diverted. :)

anyway, i'm also one of these people who don't like swear words (butttt, once in a while, in the right context, like in a movie, it can be funny).

------
another funny quote:

"The worst thing about censorship is ----- "

BurntCaregiver Aug 2022
funkygrandma,

We live in strange times. Anything goes as far as language, profanility, or obscenity is concerned so long as it's entertainment and this is especially true in the hip-hop community.
Yet a person says certain words with no insult or offense and they are finished. Lose their jobs and everything else. It is what it is and that's the world we live in.
Political correctness to the point of absurdity, yet the most despicable depravity is perfectly fine.

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PeggySue2020 Aug 2022
Gooc point Margaret. I had actually not been aware that “arse” referred to anything other than a synonym for “butt.”

But as long as we are talking shades of idioms, a popular Spanish term is “pendejo.” Most Spanish speakers will say it means an idiota, or a bastard. A few will say it’s a slang term for the anal cavity.

My own opinion here is opposite grandmas regarding her personal bad word that has passed PG filters since before PG14 or whatever was a thing. I myself don’t give a blessed gosh darn about said word, and either does the AP. Or the FCC. I’m more irritated that the last sentence sounds like a South Park parody to even get through.

pamzimmrrt Aug 2022
As far as cursing in made up words.. just a story here. I tend to use some, but am more likely to curse in German or Scottish/irish. One day at work I was spewing out in German, and one of my Doctors asked if I knew what I said? Uhhh , yes I do,, and I wont any more. LOL My DD once caught herself about to say something,, and we now use mothertrucker, and horsepucky alot! Whatever it takes!

MargaretMcKen Aug 2022
Yesterday I posted the ‘right word for a donkey’, and it got asterisked. Jesus and Mary riding ‘asses’ got through OK. I said that ‘US usage is not shared in Oz, or in the UK so far as I know’. In Oz, the word for the human bottom is ‘arse’. I wait with interest to see if that is asterisked. The mind boggles!

Funky, you say “I do care when any disrespect is shown to anyone of any faith or religion. Disrespect of any kind is wrong. Period. You think that us Christians only care about other Christians?” If you read the many letters of Paul, who wrote almost half of the New Testament without ever meeting Jesus in the flesh, you may be surprised at how much he doesn't care about non-Christians.

I think you are mixing up ‘disrespect’ to your own belief with ‘disrespect’ to a person. I have never read a mainstream (Christian) comment about Ganesh the elephant headed, or Kali the multi-armed (both Hindu deities) that came across as other than a disrespectful joke.

‘Disrespect of any kind is wrong’ – even with lying politicians of any party?

JoAnn29 Aug 2022
Funkygrandma

I just noticed I have not gotten my daily email since August 6. I always keep the last one just in case. Not getting them for days has happened before so will be reporting.

bundleofjoy Aug 2022
❤️ 🙂 i understand what you say, funkygrandma.

meanwhile, just to make us smile a bit, here are some funny quotes about swearing:

"You call them swear words. I call them sentence enhancers."

(warning, bad words coming up)
"The ****ening (noun). When your day is going too well and you don't trust it and some **** finally goes down. There it is, the ****ening."

"What's your best non-swearing insult? I hope you step on a Lego."

PeggySue2020 Aug 2022
Many Jews, mostly but not all Orthodox, refrain from spelling out the word “God,” preferring to use “G-d.” But there’s not calls to make everyone else redact that word.

sp19690 Aug 2022
This whole thread is *** and doesn't make any ******* sense. Just testing.

funkygrandma59 Aug 2022
Burntcaregiver you would be correct that I am not a "pearl-clutcher" type when it comes to the use of any language(other than g*dd**n)as I myself have been known to use many an explicative word in my lifetime, including on this forum, to which it was always changed to include as many of the *'s as needed.
My point and only point I was trying to make with my post was that if Aging Care was going to * out certain words thought to be offensive that they needed to * out all offensive words to be fair. And when I saw that that wasn't being done even after I reported said post, yet the explicative words I typed IN FULL were changed,(*added)and I stopped getting my daily emails from Aging Care, that's when I decided to create my post.

MargaretMcKen Aug 2022
*** still is the right word for a donkey. Its US usage is not shared in Oz, or in the UK so far as I know. Nothing is ‘donkey-like’. ‘Mule’ is the word for a donkey/ horse cross – very strong beast of burden, but they are infertile themselves. Jesus into Jerusalem, and Mary to Bethlehem, both rode on asses. Horses were more typical of Genghis Khan and the Tartars. Just in case anyone was interested?

JoAnn29 Aug 2022
I think I used the word b***h in a post and the Administrators changed it by putting the asterisks in. For years computer programs have "picked" out certain words that are offensive. But God is not offensive but d**n could be.

I think if an Adminstrator was not happy with you, you would get email. And I agree the two words together are offensive. And take the Lords name in vain. But that is how I was raised and would get reprimanded if I said them in front of my Mom. So I am conditioned to cringe when I hear things like this.

PeggySue2020 Aug 2022
In regards to swearing, I have defended the word “***.” This word is actually in the King James Version as referencing a donkey like creature, and outside any salacious reference in context, is not itself salacious as it could be referring to the obstinate qualities of said animal.

For a while, I would use “butt” instead, but that’s a more explicit term.

Sendhelp Aug 2022
Rhetorica,
Can you private message me?
I am interested if any particular expletives are more helpful in relieving pain than others.
I have been in pain for more than two weeks, and nothing I have tried has worked for pain relief.

I see one study online:
Keele University psychologists have proven that using conventional swear words can increase your pain tolerance by 33% compared to using alternative language.
Dr Richard Stephens, Senior Lecturer in Psychology, and PhD researcher Olly Robertson carried out a study, published by Frontiers in Psychology, to identify whether repeating the fake swear words ‘twizpipe’ and ‘fouch’ could be as effective as uttering traditional swear words in helping to tolerate pain.
The research, funded by Nurofen, involved measuring the pain threshold of 92 participants who held their hands in an ice bath. The pain threshold was measured by timing how long it took them to begin to feel pain, and their pain tolerance was determined by how long they were able to keep their hands in the freezing water.

The study found that while saying ‘twizpipe’ and ‘fouch’ brought on emotional and humorous responses, they had little impact when it came to helping cope with pain, compared to using traditional swear words which induces stress-induced analgesia and increased pain tolerance by 33%.
Dr Stephens said: “This is the first study to assess whether novel ‘swear’ words have any pain relieving effects. They didn't, even though they were rated as being funny and emotion arousing. This new finding confirms that it's not the surface properties of swear words, such as how they sound, that underlie the beneficial effects of swearing, but something much deeper, probably linked back to childhood as we learn swear words growing up.”

polarbear Aug 2022
Reminder: please do not insult each other over politics. It won't change anyone's mind, but drives us apart. Be polite as you would like others to be.

Rhetorica Aug 2022
If I can remember correctly, there have been several studies, especially, in connection to pain, that suggest that uttering expletives helps relieve pain. I point this out because I think caregiving, generally speaking, can be a painful experience. I imagine that many members use this forum to vent their frustration, anger, sadness, joy, and hope in this forum. Inevitably, people will use expletives in sharing their feelings, especially, if they're painful ones. I know that I'm one of those people. If I'm super frustrated, anxious, or overwhelmed, I'm going to say an expletive. Am I thinking about anyone else when saying them? In the heat of the moment, I'm not. And a lot of people are in the heat of the moment in this forum. In those moments, I think, we can all empathize. And if I remember correctly, empathy (compassion) is a foundational tenant of Christianity in as well as many religions. I also want to point out something else. I'm a casual member of this forum. I participate in this forum two or three times a year. And I check the forum once every month or two months. But the title of this thread caught my eye and not in a good way. From what I can remember, AARP did a survey a few years ago that pointed to the fact that 25% of caregivers are millennials. Since the study was conducted, I think, in 2018, I imagine that the percentage has increased. Undoubtedly, there are also Gen Z folks who are also caregivers. In looking for resources, they are going to stumble upon this site looking for help. But if they see a title such as the one for this thread (as well as as some of the content in the replies), they are going to go elsewhere. And that would be a shame since there are many super-knowledgeable folks here. I imagine that this is one of the larger goals of this forum - to help people who are, more often than not, in the heat of the moment. Of course, I could also be making an assumption here, that helping folks gain their grounding in the heat of the moment (caregiving) is not a larger goal of this forum. Regardless, there is an audience for this forum besides the members. Saying an expletive seems like small fry to me in comparison to using a title that speaks to exclusion rather than inclusion.

BurntCaregiver Aug 2022
Come on, funkygrandma. I would never have taken you for a pearl-clutcher over language.
What difference does it make if people put (*) or spell it out? Good grief.

AgingCareCM Aug 2022
Hi funkygrandma59,
 
Thanks for bringing this to my attention. I've reviewed the original post you mentioned: https://www.agingcare.com/questions/what-does-one-do-when-the-abuser-is-the-elder-476468.htm
 
It seems the profanity was overlooked twice—upon initial moderation of this question and then again when you posted an answer attempting to alert the moderator. You're correct that aspects of this question violated AgingCare's guidelines, and I have edited it accordingly. I apologize that your concerns weren't addressed sooner. This was likely an innocent oversight, but I'll be following up with the moderating team about this incident.
 
As far as emails go, AgingCare has not blocked you or made any changes to your subscription preferences.
 
Funkygrandma59, MargaretMcKen, and anyone else who is experiencing email issues, I'd recommend checking your selections by navigating to your Profile > Settings > Subscriptions. You may want to check your email account's Spam and/or Junk folders for the missing emails as well. If this is a widespread occurrence affecting multiple members, we certainly want to know about it.
 
Please feel free to continue commenting here with details about these issues. You can also private message this account directly regarding these concerns and any others that may arise in the future.
 
Thank you all for your patience and ongoing support.

sp19690 Aug 2022
My favorite woke speech is when the CDC and the media use the word pregnant people. Or refer to an individual as " they " because that's the pronoun they want to be referred to as. Just plain stupidity at its finest.

sp19690 Aug 2022
Maybe the point should be that people care about these things but spiritual beings have no concerns about such things.

funkygrandma59 Aug 2022
Well it looks that the powers that be at Aging Care have once again removed a sentence from my response to Grandma 1954 below, where I said that the words the OP I took offense to was still there in full context with no *'s in them, while my responses and LoopyLoos were censored and had the *'s put in our "offensive" words. The OP is "What does one do when the abuser is the elder?" Lets' see if this now makes it into the discussion without being removed.

And MargaretMcKen, I do care when any disrespect is shown to anyone of any faith or religion. Disrespect of any kind is wrong. Period. You think that us Christians only care about other Christians? Really?
My point in this conversation is that if Aging Care is going to * out words they consider offensive they need to * out all offensive words and not just cherry pick them. That's all.

sp19690 Aug 2022
You probably haven't been on Twitter, Facebook or any of the social media websites to see that free speech is dead. Only "woke speech" is acceptable speech now. And who determines what that is? It's a slippery slope and no one cares until they are censored. 1984 is now a reality in our society.

MargaretMcKen Aug 2022
Funky grandma, I’m sure that you are a devout Christian, but many people are not. You probably don’t mind much if people aren’t respectful to Allah or Krishna or the Buddha.

I’m interested in language derivation, and I know that many if not most swear words have always had a religious root (it’s either that or sex). It really upset my very conservatively spoken husband to learn that Jiminey Cricket was relatively new way to avoid saying the initials. The very old Zoundz that you encounter in old writing was a contraction of God’s Wounds. And there are many many more in the centuries between.

Perhaps we have a new moderator who is hypersensitive. Or perhaps this was just a glitch. I can’t imagine anything I have done to offend sensitivities, and I’ve lost some emails too.

lealonnie1 Aug 2022
Funky, I sent you a PM. The AC link you mention has never worked for me, not even once!!

MargaretMcKen Aug 2022
I haven’t received an ‘Aging Care Connect’ email for three days now’, and I have no idea why. The other emails are still arriving. ???

funkygrandma59 Aug 2022
Lealonnie, like I said at the beginning of my post, I did try to contact Aging care directly by clicking on their link and it didn't work. I tried 4 times at different times today and that was when I figured that perhaps they had in some way blocked me so I couldn't contact them. It's just all a bit too coincidental to me.

And like clock work I do receive my daily emails from them without fail. The only time of course I don't receive the nightly one is if I haven't gotten any likes on my posts, but the morning one is in my inbox every single day.

lealonnie1 Aug 2022
Funky, I myself blocked out my word 'sh*t' hits the fan on that post you mention. It wasn't the mods blocking it FOR me. As far as the OP using the word go*damned (I put in the asterisk there myself), it wasn't blocked out at all by the site. It was spelled out in full and that's the word taking God's name in vain that Funky is referring to.


I have never gotten an AgingCare email with anything every morning. There are more glitches here than anywhere else online, I have found. I seriously doubt you have been 'blocked' from anything here; what I think happened is there was a glitch when you 'clicked' on their email address which is why nothing happened.

FF: woke means 'educated or alert to injustice in society, especially racism'. What Cwillie has said is his or her interpretation of the meaning of that word, not reality.


Funky, don't quit the forum for a perceived slight which most likely isn't happening. Not being censored for the word you didn't like may have just been an oversight on ACs part; report it directly to the AgingCareCM username and see what they say. That's my suggestion.

Slartibartfast Aug 2022
Freqflyer if you see someone using "woke" and it seems positive in context, it's the idea of staying alert to reality, especially including acts and patterns of injustice.

When you see someone using woke and it seems derogatory they're using it as an inept substitution for the term "politically correct".

cwillie Aug 2022
FF - Woke has evolved into a label used as a slur by the Christian right - it's meant as a put to down those who have reevaluated their core beliefs and choose a different path than they once followed, generally one that is more tolerant of differences about race, gender roles and sexual orientation.

funkygrandma59 Aug 2022
I just find it ironic that after I made those comments to Aging Care that I didn't get my usual nightly email or my usual everyday morning email, and couldn't help but believe it was because of what I had said.
And you're right Grandma1954, freedom of speech does work both ways and that is why I was calling out Aging Care because they were censoring my words, and Loopyloo's, in our responses to this OP, yet kept the foul language in the OP.s post. It just didn't make any sense to me, as what is good for the goose should also be good for the gander right?

And freqflyer, this is not my internet stalling, as I received all my other usual emails. And surely you have heard of folks being banned from their Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram accounts for saying things that the left didn't agree with. That is all part of the woke culture we're now in, where only certain voices get to be heard for the purpose of their agenda.
This isn't really the forum to get too much into that, as there's much more in the woke culture as well that should concern all of us freedom loving Americans.
I'm calling it "woke" because after I shared my thoughts/concerns with Aging Care, I stopped receiving my usual emails from them that's all, and it is one of those things that makes you go hmmm.....

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