Find Senior Care (City or Zip)
Join Now Log In
L
lisatrevor Posted July 2022

Anyone experience this behavior from sibling? Solution!

I am posting this so maybe it can help someone else in a similar situation. Plus, if feels good to vent a little.


Both me and my brother are caring for my father. I don't know what caused this but now my brother and his wife are mocking the way I speak! I will say something like "We should turn the air conditioning down." They will say "Ok," and in an exaggerated tone, like I sound, that makes me sound stupid. My brother and his wife know what they are doing and it is annoying. It's a way for them to try to hurt my feelings. Has anyone else experienced this?


My solution: I will stay on the high road and keep doing the right thing for my father. I will not get angry, and I will watch life hold my brother and his wife accountable. I know that I will eventually come out way on top. I know this because I have live through similar situations and that's what happens! Go the extra mile in a spirit of good will and you will not be able to escape all the good things that will come to you. It's true!

lisatrevor Jul 2022
There is justice in the world! You assume you automatically get compensated in some form by those who did you wrong. That's not how it works. Those people always suffer negatively and you never see or hear of it. Sometimes you do. You know that for sure.

lisatrevor Jul 2022
I would like that. My brother and father are both smart. Both went to college. We grew up in a affluent area and had friends who were smart, too. But my family is not sophisticated enough to discuss something like this. I am though. They are far more emotional and deal with relationship and other issues in that fashion, not through critical thinking. Initiating anything like that would lead to raised voices and a worse relationships.

ADVERTISEMENT


AlvaDeer Jul 2022
A huge amen to this.

sp19690 Jul 2022
There is no such thing as karma. And if you believed in karma you wouldnt be wishing bad karma on your brother and SIL because that negativity would bring bad karma into your life.

If the push theory about acting a certain way and getting it back were true there would be a lot more justice in the world.

And if karma existed then your dad would be getting his karma for his mysoginy and unfair treatment of you compared to your brother over the years.

Remember your dad is a big boy. If he wants the AC on he can turn it on and off himself. Last you posted he was living the good life courtesy of your brothers wife. So why are you treating dad like a child and an invalid?

lisatrevor Jul 2022
It was an example. In that case my father could be in bed asleep and I know what temperature he likes for sleep.

Karma, whatever you want to call it IS real. I have lived enough years to be absolutely certain. It's not magical. It just is. Life is aligned for the good. Simply if you do good for someone generally they will treat you good and vice-versa. But that the simple explanation. There's something else you don't know, almost no one knows, unless one has studied the science of mechanics in minute detail - what you think is your "will" is actually generated from the outside, a "push" if you will. Therefore when you act in a way, good or bad, you get it back. This is for sure. It's profound. Try it!

sp19690 Jul 2022
Better yet why not ask your dad if he's cold instead of brother and SIL. Is dad not capable of answering a simple question? You are borderline passive aggressive in your interactions.

Time to grow up. And karma is not a real thing.

Life does not hold anyone accountable. It rewards good behavior just as often as bad behavior. That is just reality. The sooner you learn that the better off you will be.

lealonnie1 Jul 2022
Good idea Lisa, and a great place to start your new behavior to " share good information and things that bring happiness to others" is here on the forum, by making a decision to stop writing these kinds of posts whereby brother and SIL are ganging up on you!!

lisatrevor Jul 2022
Thank you. Recently I almost had an amazing career opportunity. I think the reason I'm not depressed at all about it not happening is the fact that I got so close that there will be more opportunity in the future.

From now on I just want to share good information and things that bring happiness to others. I'm not wasting another moment of my life on feeling bad, inferior, and/or mad about the immature behavior and harassment of my brother and family and some others towards me.

GardenArtist Jul 2022
I think Alva's insights are spot on. Before reading her response though, I felt that this is not just an issue for parental care, but rather one that has existed in family dynamics for some time.

Lisa, has your family ever discussed this friction, how it arose and why it continues to exist? Has family counseling ever been considered or initiated?

AlvaDeer Jul 2022
I suggest responders read some of Lisa's prior posts in order to see that the sibling thing has been ongoing for quite some long time.
Lisa's brother and his wife serve as POA for their Father. While Lisa once lived out of town she is now in town, and there have been ongoing problems between the siblings.
Lisa, it looks like not a whole lot has changed. I hope you are thriving. Happy Fourth!
As always, the solution is to get on with your own life, with your own good friends, and make it a happy one.

ADVERTISEMENT

Ask a Question

Subscribe to
Our Newsletter