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M
MyraLove Posted April 2021

Thank you for your positive responses.

My husband would want to be with his family at home when he passes.
He is currently on dialysis and fighting to stay alive I believe.
I have a meeting today with doctors.
I have been contacted by Palliative.
I don't want to let go of my husband but I do want what's best for him.
Thank you all for your positive response and prayer offerings.
I don't know what to do.

AlvaDeer Apr 2021
If they are suggesting now a withdrawal from dialysis and palliative and/or hospice I will tell you I think they are right. As a retired RN I so fear dialysis and what that life is like that I have it written in my Advanced Directive that I am NEVER to receive dialysis, even temporarily, nor tube feedings, gastrostomy feedings, nor intubation.
I think you already know what is the best thing to do after what you and your husband have gone through, and what the future looks like, and to what outcome? I think you should listen to your better angels. Nevertheless this is a fearsome thing to take into your own hands, and I think that should be recognized by all. You have all my support whatever your decision is for your husband. You know him. Speak with palliative care. Ask to speak with hospice. And I wish the best to you both, and am so sorry you are amidst this hard time.

funkygrandma59 Apr 2021
My heart goes out to you MyraLove. It's a hard position to be in for sure, but I admire the fact that you want to honor your husbands wishes to die at home. Once you have hospice involved just make sure that you still have either family members to assist you, or hire some outside help, as even with hospice care 99% of his care will still fall on you.

My husband too wanted to die at home, and he lived the last 22 months of his life in a hospital bed in our living room, under hospice care. I'm not going to lie, it was hard, but he got his wish to die at home,(7 months ago today) and for that I will be forever grateful. And if I had to do it all over again, I would.

Stay strong, lean on your Heavenly Father, and make sure that you're taking care of yourself as well. I'm lifting up prayers for you and your husband right now.

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JoAnn29 Apr 2021
This is a decision for your husband if he is capable to make that decision. Hospice, in my experience, does not allow dialysis. Once your husband goes off toxins will build up and that will cause his death. My two friends that were on dialysis stopped it, chose Hospice and passed within 2 weeks. My one friend did hospice in a hospital and would have been able to continue with her Peritoneal dialysis while on Hospice but they could not find a Nurse trained in it.

From your profile you say DH has stage 4 of liver cirrhosis. So is this why he is on dialysis? Or are his kidneys failing too? Either way, he is a sick man. I would wonder how long dialysis would work when he is stage 4?

Hospice can be done at home but it means the family doing most if the work. A nurse will come 2 or 3x a week but should be on call 24/7. An aide will be provided 3x or so a week for bathing and give family some ME time. Please, if you consider Hospice research different ones. Also, when the Nurse comes to admit ur husband have someone there with you. When stressed we tend to not hear everything being said. You should receive a booklet of what they do. Take notes or record the conversation with nurses ok. Do remember, you and DH still have control over his care. You are allowed to question and be given answers. There are so many misconceptions when it comes to Hospice. They are there for the clients comfort and your peace of mind. They also supply things like diapers, medications, wipes ect. And these are ordered by the nurse.

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