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My father has end stage liver disease and he’s been in decline for a while now. Hospitalized in January and has been back & forth between hospital & nursing home. On Friday he seemed lucid and stable and on Saturday he seemed off to me. His speech was slower and he said he was depressed and had stomach pain. He called me Saturday night and was hallucinating. I called the floor nurse and let her know, thought it must be his ammonia levels.
He has a living will and doesn’t want life saving interventions. His labs came back showing hepatorenal syndrome. I was told he might have 24-48 hrs left. So, I jumped in the car and drove 4.5 hrs to see him. Today I visited him and he is barely conscious. He’s on full comfort care now. I don’t know if he knew it was me with him-it’s sad. I hope he won’t linger like this for long-it seems cruel. I’m his only child and he’s divorced. I wanted him to know he wasn’t alone but it was alright to go.
I don’t really have a question but could use some support right now as I’m going through this alone.

LAnn,

You are a sweet daughter for being there for your Dad.

Maybe tell your Dad some stories of how you were glad he was your Dad? Maybe some things you did together? I bet he’d love to hear them.

May God grant you both peace in this process.
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LAnn123 Mar 31, 2021
Thank you. He’s in a coma now but I do talk to him and I told him he was a good dad. I played a video of his granddaughter playing piano for him today. He turned his head toward the sound.
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Great big warm hug!

Can you ask the hospital if they have any one that you can speak with?

Sometimes just having our hand held while we cry is a lifesaver. Try to find out if the hospital has someone who can do this for you.

May God give you strength and comfort right now!
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LAnn123 Mar 31, 2021
Thank you
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I'm so sorry that you're having to deal with all this by yourself. I hope your father has Hospice involved by now, and that they're keeping him comfortable. Hearing is the last sense to go, so keep talking to him, and let him know how much you love him and that you're going to be ok when he leaves this world, and it's ok for him to go, as he might try and hang on if he thinks you won't be ok without him. I know that can be hard to say to someone you love so much, but often it's what the person needs to hear. Your father is fortunate to have you with him right now. May God give you His peace and comfort as you go through this journey with your father.
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LAnn123 Mar 30, 2021
Thank you
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Honestly when it comes to End of Life it does not matter what brought them to that point. What is needed is comfort for both the patient and the family. A hand to hold and the realization that in a matter of hours, days, weeks your loved one will be out of pain, no longer suffering and your heart will break in a way that you think it will never be whole again.
I realized the tears that I was crying were for me, they were selfish tears. I was the one loosing my Husband. He was going to be free of the shell that held his body. His mind and spirit long gone. I was selfish for not wanting to lose him. Did this realization help...not then..sometimes not now. Bit by bit my heart is mending. Sometimes a stitch tears and I have to wait until it mends again. There will always be a scar, sometimes a painful scar.
Be there for him as much as you can. Talk to him. Tell him that you will be alright, that he taught you well. Thank him.
((hugs))
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LAnn123 Mar 30, 2021
Yes, so true. I held his hand and let him know I was here with him. I told him he was a good dad and he could go now. I hope he won’t linger like this for long.
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