Sitting vigil at my Mama's deathbed she is 96 and has dementia, possible liver cancer. Just got her on Hospice a day ago and tonight was her first dosage of Morphine. I have temporarily moved out of my home and in with my brother to help care for Mama. It is so sad to watch a once strong, feisty, independent woman waste away, I feel so helpless. I had to leave the room twice today so she would not see me break down and cry. I freaked my bachelor brother out when he saw me cause I was close to hysterics. I got it together and went back in the room. She has refused food, water, sleeps about 18 hours a day and talks of other people here with us when it is only me and my brother. I have other siblings but two are not in good health and the other one can't be here because her husband is ill. I had to send an email to my son who my Mama helped me raise. Not heard back it is so late right now but he did tell me to let him know when I thought the time was near. I'm not God but she has all the signs of end of life. I physically feel like I'm not going to make it. I can't sleep or eat either due to being on alert and my bed is right next to her. Afraid she will need me and I won't hear her. Please pray for me.
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Sending my thoughts and prayers. Thinking of you and your family.
Take care of yourself. May God be with you.
We all want to be there for our loved ones at the moment of death but it usually doesn’t work,out that way. I got a call from hospice that my mom was actively dying, jumped in the car for the long drive but mom died just a few minutes before I got there. There were other family members with her.
Don’t guilt trip yourself about this. You’re doing the best anyone could do. Talk to the hospice nurse about what to expect. You can also get grief counseling through hospice.