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ship2shore Posted February 2018

Exploitation of an elderly parent with dementia.

I have a personal situation that’s occurred to my family over a period of about 5 years. In the final years of her life, my mother, who suffered from dementia, fell victim to financial abuse by the very nursing home caregivers we had trusted to keep her safe and comfortable. The nursing facility put her in touch with local attorneys who manipulated her and bilked her out of thousands of dollars and a large portion of her estate. We fought hard to stop them, but they had powerful connections. My petition with the county court for legal guardianship as her only family went nowhere, and my family is unsure where to turn when the system is so irreparably broken. The last few years of my mother’s life were fraught with watching the attorneys separate her completely from her family, until they fought for, and won legal guardianship, only 22 days before her death. She died alone in the nursing home, having fallen from her bed, completely isolated and alienated from her close family. My hope in telling my story is that I can connect with others who are facing the same type of unimaginable situation with their loved ones. There are unscrupulous people who prey on the elderly, and I would love to help at least one person or family avoid the same heartache we fought to keep happening from my mother. I would be happy to go public with my story to the media, but am not sure where to start, as I'm not a journalist or a blogger. Just a concerned caregiver.


ship2shore Mar 2018
Another excellent article on elderly parents being exploited by their own family by Gary Weiss in the AARP magazine. . aarp.org/money/scams-fraud/info-2018/family-fraud.html

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Isthisrealyreal Mar 2018
In our community they have TV news programs that are like "9 on your side" it does local human interest, or fraud type stories, one was that Wells Fargo would not release funds to a payable on death recipient. That is until it was on the 5 O'clock news. This may be available in your area, walking into a TV station may be your best best, make sure that you talk to a producer or manager, the receptionist tend to be a little, little (you know what I mean). Good luck!

ship2shore Mar 2018
Update : I have made a connection at AARP with their NJ task force on Elder Exploitation although this is the early stages of contact. Still no luck on finding a journalist or a newspaper/magazine contact, where they could help me get my story out unfortunately. I have plenty of documentation and facts to back all aspects of the story. The investigator at the NJ Attorney General's office and the NJ Ombudsman's office said that I have the truth on my side. When I email editors, I rarely get a response, so I may have to visit the news stations or newspapers in person. Whatever needs to be done to get the word out, I will. It's very easy to want to give up, when one keeps coming to a brick wall. But after going through many years of caring for a parent with dementia, it's made me stronger.

Isthisrealyreal Feb 2018
Ship2shore, i just saw an ad on the internet about seniors being bilked and laws need to change, i was doing something else so I just caught it, professional guardianship is a major issue for seniors, that sounds like what you experienced, do a Google search for abuse, exploitation by professional guardians. Because it is coming onto the radar, I would contact your local NBC, CBS, ABC stations and request information about their news programs, Dateline, 48 hours, 60 minutes and whatever is on now a days.
Thank you for sharing your heartbreaking and frustrating experience, if it saves one family the same fate it is well worth the time.

GingerMay Feb 2018
There's so many laws to protect children, but I haven't seen any for protecting elders. This is awful and it scares me to know what is allowed to happen. I believe Elder Care is not a money maker so nobody champions the issues. It is un-glamorous, and eventually involves issues where someone dies and nobody gets to be the hero. I agree with above post that if you can attract the attention of a journalist, perhaps others experiencing similar, you may be able to set something good in motion.

katannsed Feb 2018
There was an article on a similar situation in Nevada (newyorker.com/magazine/2017/10/09/how-the-elderly-lose-their-rights). If you don't live in Nevada you might be able to interest a journalist by referring to that article and saying that the same is happening where you live......it's horrendous, laws need to be changed.

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