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Treesandroses Posted May 2014

Siblings feel entitled to Mum's money.

I am mums main caregiver even though now I have put her in a rest home. I bring her home ever day and care for her without any support from siblings just abuse. They are angry because I stopped them getting mums money. Now the abuse is flooding through. I feel broken hearted about losing mum each day to dementia and now all my siblings the abuse is the most nasty possible. I am struggling to cope with their abuse towards me. They are blaming me for their dysfunctional upbringing and anything else they can think of. There is a big age gap I am the youngest.

littletonway May 2014
This is all so very sad. Where children get the idea that what Mom and Dad has is theirs and yet, they aren't willing to offer any physical or financial assistance to these same parents. Every penny your parents have is to be used for their care and hopefully there is enough left to have a nice funeral.

Does it come from the upbringing, were the parents like this or horrible sibling rivalry...what causes this kind of greed!

Shakingdustoff...I don't understand why you are even calling your brother.

Best wishes to all.

Bubblers May 2014
I to am going through the same thing with my sister. I worked up until last yr and she had TOTAL CONTROL of mom and what she did with money. She even took her to lawyers and had Wil, POA,Health Care Proxy, and ALL safe deposit and bank books with her name being the 1st. She does not know "How this happened"? But I am the main person caring for my mom and she helps on week ends. Everytime she goes into moms house she goes for the hiding place where the money is and counts it. Then comes to me and ask who spent it and where are receipts! I helped mom with her checking account bc my sister does not write the checks in the book correctly, she rounds the amount off and does not balance the book! That makes my mom so upset. She asked me to help her and now I have my mom doing her check book again and she does not like it!
So hang in there like I am and be thinking only of what is best for your Mom and not about her. It is very hard and I understand what you are going through. I actually had it out with her and she has not said a thing again. Oh, I have what I call "Cover My Ass book". I have 3 sections: #1.i write down what time I leave my house to go to mom's and what time I leave her house....#2 I write in it daily exactly what I do from the moment I arrive until I leave (example: I did 3 loads of wash and fold, vacumed house ect...no matter how small, i write it.....#3 I write down every little cent I spend out of my money or hers and I have the receipts in this section.....as they say, I left no stone unturned....Good Luck

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gladimhere May 2014
TRoses, so often this is the case, siblings that do nothing become terrified that their inheritance will be spent on mom's needs. Their sense if entitlement is astonishing. The first place that moms resources should be spent is for her care in a manner that she would want. You are doing a fine job, detach from critical, accusing siblings and concentrate on how those you have daily contact with each day. I know this is hard, and I struggle with it myself, it is hard to believe that siblings brought up by the same parents can be so different.

assandache7 May 2014
I'd say "tough luck" someone has to look out for your Mom.. You're a good daughter, don't let them bully you!

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