She moved in with us 6 years ago saying she was just going to be a neighbor. She built a little apartment on our house which was 1/4 of the entrance fee alone for most ALs around here. She is healthy enough to do so much for herself but refuses. She's a great one for " I'm gonna." She plays the little old lady when it suits her which is whenever she can con someone into doing for her. Well, me. The others don't bother with her. I tell her the least she can do at dinner is clean up her place. My kids have been doing it since they were toddlers! We rearranged kitchen so she is right next to trash and only a few feet away from sink & dishwasher. She doesn't want to do it so she will sit at table alone for 20-30 mins and wait for someone to walk by so she can hold up her silverware and just expects whoever to grab it! The other day she went as far as walking over to dishwasher, which I was loading, with her silverware in hand. It would have been quicker and easier for her to drop in washer but she was determined to have me do it and when I didn't offer she stood there jabbing them at me over & over til I did take them. Then she just walked away without even a thank you for it or meal! We took her out last night to an appt.and stopped by a fast food place. Where she ordered and walked away ( as usual, no offers to pay even tho she's got more money and we pay all her bills). We cleaned up trash and she was still drinking her drink. She got up and walked right next to trash, turned back around and walked to table again, slammed down cup and yelled at me to "throw this away!" I did snap her her saying yes your highness! Which got me a dirty look and a little shove. My 1 sister ( only one that shows any concern for Mom or me) said to just do it for her. But I've learned that the more I do the more she expects! IF she really couldn't do for herself it would be different. She never ASKS us to do anything. She just announces she wants it done then waits for us to volunteer. There is no appreciation because in her mind we owe it to her, she didn't ask so no thanks needed! Now she also expects that if she announces that other relatives need or want something like 2 baths completely remodeled or a new floor put in for Aunts, Uncles, siblings...whoever, we SHOULD wait on them too for FREE! And she gets mad when we say that's too big a job ( my husband is not a contractor! He's a business mgr!) or these people have their own grown kids who should help them. She's getting so bad she wants someone to dunk her teabag for her. Let me say again, she IS capable physically! There is so many more issues with her living with me that I am beyond stressed and sick and I feel like a prisoner because of the guilt she lays on if I try and leave but she won't say a word to the angels who do nothing for her because she doesn't want to upset them. I'm so stuck now. She's healthy and looks like the 6 years she's been here is just the beginning but I can't take much more. But I am stuck because even tho I've given 6 plus years already and the rest have given ZERO, I would be the greedy S.O.B that got the addition on my house and then dumped her. They have no idea what its like to be with this demanding woman 24/7 because they are nowhere to be found from year to year unless there is $$ in it for them but they all like to tell me how bad I am for not doing more. I've tried to talk her into going to senior center and making friends but she is so anti social and says she has enough friends and enough to do ( which is a big old fib!) And now she tells me she doesn't like the same things I do or watch on TV so I shouldn't do or watch them. She doesn't like our friends visiting so she has chased them away. She gets mad when kids have friends over because they mean nothing to her so why should she have to deal with them? ( She's too nosy to go to her rooms and ignore them. She just sits and glares at people making them very uncomfortable) She said she expects me to just sit there with her all day or drive her around to see others. I am so resentful of the others especially when they expect us to do for THEM too! Sorry for the run on paragraph but when I get on a rant it just all falls out in one long stream. If she would just get a hobby, help me help her by getting a life alert or meals on wheels, anything! But she just wants to be a 2 year old in charge! I know this is similar to previous posts but I had to get it out again. Thank you all for letting me rant and rant whenever I need to!