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Jennymac Posted April 2014

It has now been almost one year that I've been estranged from my parents (93).

Due to relationship poisoning by my brother and SIL, in order to facilitate Will changes and extracting money gifts from them. It has been horrendous but I have come through a nervous break-down, with much help from poster's on this site, for which I am very grateful. However, I am still smarting from the horror of how I was treated by my father mostly, but also my mother, and I suspect dementia, but there seems to be nothing I can do to mend things, and every day I think of the isolation of my mother, particularly, and the bewilderment I believe she is suffering.

I have detached from them, as advised by kind people on here, and this has worked, and I am no longer depressed and suicidal! I am wondering if old people get a kick out of stirring up trouble, and exerting their 'control' over their 'children' to show who is boss? But going as far as to try and incite violence from one offspring towards the other? Well, can they really be compos mentis as my aunt thinks? Or are they quite utterly insane?

They no longer want me to have their house (as they did for 20 years), and they even rubbed my nose in it by making sure that I wasn't even made an Executor of their Wills, or even talking to me about their decisions! I am 66 by the way!

I am scuppered, but hey ho, what fun they must be having creating all this conflict. Perhaps it all helps to keep their hearts beating with all this stimulation? Anything beats boredom I guess!

Hope my controlling psycho SIL and Brother are happy with the results of their manipulation, exploitation and relationship poisoning leading to isolation for my parents? Is there anything lower than this kind of despicable behaviour? I don't think so.

pamstegma May 2014
If you are truly convinced you or someone else are in the possession of demons, see a priest who is trained in exorcism. It's not a one-stop repair visit, but will require extensive treatment and a visit to your home. You have to be very focused on redemption and rescue. Don't expect a Judge or Police to believe you; they will lock you up with your mother.

Jennymac May 2014
To PamStegman, your comments are always spot on! I loved your answer to one poster saying "go to the beach, have a party, be free or whatever" Love it! That is exactly what I am trying to do! But difficult to know what to do with my 'caring side' as I no longer have anyone to help out, and that's what I was gearing up for! Oh well, I will bake some cakes, volunteer at the animal shelter, visit an old person.....

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Jennymac May 2014
Thank you very much all for your comments. It is very helpful and encouraging. I realise that, although I am recovered from my nervous breakdown, and can see things more clearly, I have received a devastating blow to my inner confidence, and sometimes I feel 'frozen' and find it difficult to do new things or move forward confidently. I also wonder about my mother? Because if they DO have dementia, and they HAVE been manipulated, then am I guilty of abandoning them?

Sigh.......!!!

Thanks again all.

anonymous158299 Apr 2014
lonecarer,
i believe it was ; " you can pick your nose and you can pick your friends but you cant pick your family " .

lonecarer Apr 2014
Sounds like you did the best thing sweetie.. Just only do good things for you and those who you hold close to your heart from now on...

Someone once told me, You can't choose your family, but at least you can choose your friends .. Big hug x

BarbBrooklyn Apr 2014
In my experience, parents who actually want the best for their children don't dangle inheritance as a carrot. IT'S OUR MONEY AND WE'RE GOING TO USE IT UP BEFORE WE DIE was my dad's mantra. We all went out and learned to support ourselves. It made the decision to move mom to a nice al and now a nice nh very easy...we don't expect there to be leftover when she goes. Stay away. Your sanity is worth more.

pamstegma Apr 2014
Good, for you, forget about the inheritance. Stolen money brings a curse.

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