I spent three days packing and moving Mom to a low-income eligible lovely IL/AL facility. No help from family despite my asking for help. I worked with a family friend who helped me with organizing everything, meetings, upfront fees, moving furniture and belongings. Mom was staying with my sister the night before our friend B was to take Mom over, do final paperwork, pay a few final fees, and show Mom around/get her settled.
I call to tell sister and Mom what will happen, B calls too. Sister gets all upset that B is "bringing her checkbook." Seems Mom spent two days complaining about B to sister. After sister hangs up on B, I talk to my BIL. He asks why B is paying for stuff, we don't need B, why didn't I ask family for help with finances. Family members who don't have money. I said to him that I told everyone the numbers, if they had questions, they should have asked.
I also told him that I need B. I've been left alone to figure it all out. B stepped up to help. Now Mom, who has taken from everyone all her life, suddenly doesn't want to be tied to B. BIL says he and sister will take Mom to the facility, do final paperwork, pay final fees. Will pay ongoing cost overruns Mom will have because she has never lived within her means. Wants B to butt out.
Now I am getting messages from BIL, who has been at the facility maybe 2 hours and has jumped into all the work B and I did and is being deluged with info. He is backtracking. I was just trying to get information, is all, he says. Mom and sister were just upset.
Now, he told me by phone he would cover her extra costs until the Va benefit kicks in. He told me to butt out. But now he's changing his tune.
I have had it. I want her out of my life. I told B we stand down. Let them have her. Let Mom have them.
I want to turn off phones and email and not answer them. I want to say "I don't know what to do about that." I cannot believe this is happening. I couldn't believe the takeover attempt. And now I cannot believe the backtracking.