I am helping my Mom, I have a full life, full time job gone 11 hours a day and two children. I try my best to help her, I am a responsible person.
If something doesn't go perfect she talks to me in a tone like I did something wrong as if I am responsible and didn't do something right. She has her caregivers that are paid exceptionally well. When she talks to me like this I fall apart. If she wants some sort of paperwork, I would like her to ask her caregivers to make the call, I live in Seattle, she in Ca. I have been helping her for two years and she has times where she has to go into assisted living due to problems with her MS and she acts crazy. She has had to go in two times already. I've gotten her back out both times due to her wishes.
I am sick of her right now. I am not answering the phone today if she calls.
She is in complete denial about her in and out of mental state. Probably due to bladder infection or her salts being off. I need a break. There isn't one.
Everyone has given you good advice. DON'T bring Mom home from AL.
I hear how upsetting her words are to you. She really wounds you. I wish there were a magic potion to make her change her ways, but there isn't. This is one of those times where the only one you can change is yourself. I hate those times!
Seriously, though, have you tried therapy for yourself? You wouldn't be human if you could completely ignore her meanness, but it's not good to let it bother you THAT much. You could be happier if you could learn to "detach with love" from her. One place to learn how is Al Anon. Even if Mom isn't a drinker, her behavior is caused by something you can't control, and you need to learn how to protect yourself better.
I'm so sorry she's so mean to you. You don't deserve it.
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As for what she says, you said it yourself: "her in and out mental state." All you can do is try not to take it to heart; you know she's not rational. Good luck, hope it gets easier x
She is finding it difficult to cope up with the issues and moving her back to an assisted living facility will help her calm down to some extent.
If it were me, I'd find a geriatric care manager in CA where your mom is. That person can do all of the things you're doing and they know the local resources. Those people aren't cheap, but they can take the burden off of you. You can find one by googling the National Association of Geriatric Care Managers. They're typically former nurses or medical professionals and can coordinate and run interference for you. It's worth your sanity and health to get some help!