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helpshemean Posted December 2012

Mother is 95 and lost everything from sandy and now being with me till her home is repaired she is demanding and controlling

how can i deal with this behavior? She is trying devide and separate in my family and with my sibilings as well as giving to one of my children and not to all of them . I am feeling she is controlling and mean. she is keeping a plant given to her that is vey harmful to cats and refusing to let another family member care for it till she moves back home? It is in her bedroom but she doen't always remember to close her door and I have 3 indoor cats. Help ME

ladee1 Dec 2012
And I truly do understand how you feel... maybe its time to set some very firm boundries with her,or let her know other arrangements will be made.... I know it takes so much adjusting, but when she doesn't cooperate at all, makes it even harder... my heart goes out to you and pray you find a solutions soon...sending you lots of hugs...

helpshemean Dec 2012
I guess she has always been this way but I didn't live with her so i never saw or knew what she did all day. However here in my home she is manipulating and I have not lived with her since I was 16years old but I have opened my home to her and she is abusing her invite , she is secure money wise and she expects my husband and I to supply all for her and when i take her to the store she doen't buy her usual needs for the week she expects I will. I work nights and she has a hars time understanding I sleep during the day and her friends need to come on my days off or she can go out with them so I can sleep. This as well is hard for her I am in trouble here and thinking of counseling I try to keep her life normal and consistent as it was when she lived in her own home but she shows no graditude for the efforts Help

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ladee1 Dec 2012
My first question is... has she always been like this? And if so, is there other arrangements that can be made for her to live somewhere else while her house is being repaired? With that being said, I will share with you that the closest I ever came to having a total breakdown was after Hurricane Rita... I, too, lost everything, and am many years younger than your mom....nothing in my world made sense, I was relocated, but alone, not living with family... and all these years later I am still picking up the peices of my life... of course you do not let her run your household... but if she hasn't always been this way, and even if she has, just every once in awhile, put yourself in her shoes... If she's just ugly, then find placement for her.... hugs

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