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insane Posted December 2009

Father insists on living alone even when he is not well

My friend's 92 year old father is about to be released from the hospital and he refuses to go to his daughters' house until he gets stronger. She is afraid because he lives alone. He can be very difficult and sometimes nasty. What can she do?

anonymous13823 Dec 2009
My mom refused help also. She told all of us, she was fine,,, but complained all the time, that so much was left undone. Finally she fell, and went in for surgery. This was when we all got together, and made her decision for her, and when she got discharged, I drove her to my house for recovery. During this time, I couldnt help but notice, she was not functioning well mentally, so I am glad I just assumed her, and brought her here. She was so weak after her surgery, and yet she was still insisting she was going home to a huge, empty house, (Dad passed 3 yrs ago). So, at 83, I made her decision for her, and didnt allow her to insist on being alone any longer. Tell your friend to just assume her father, and make his decision for him,,,, obviously, he isnt making sound decisions, if he is 93, and thinking he can recover on his own. I should have made the decision long before mom reached 83, maybe I could have avoided that terrible fall, and awful surgery. I will admit,,,, its been a hard hard job,,,, more that I ever thought, but there was NO WAY she was able to care for herself. Even the Dr agreed.

EXPERT Carol Bradley Bursack, CDSGF Dec 2009
She may not be able to do anything now, however after he is home she could have social services do a welfare check and see how he is doing. If it is determined he cannot care for himself, then they could help her get him help. Third parties are often needed in these cases.

Carol

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