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Mom finally agreed I could look at assisted living facilities to see what she can afford. She has no assets left as her son borrowed against her house and then lost it to foreclosure. I checked with 17 different facilities and found 1 that she can afford but looks like a hospital and is unlicensed. The only other possibility is Masonic assistance at the state masonic home. (Both of which she will reject but she MUST choose something within her means) Even at 94 she does not qualify for medicaid and is already receiving Veterans benefits. I was hoping to find a place that she could remain in rather than having to move her twice or more. I have her power of attorney but am told I still cannot force her to do something she does not want to do. The way to force the issue is to refuse to supplement her income and with my husband retiring in May - I myself will be on a fixed income.

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I did it - sort of - after her first reaction was "Maybe I should commit suicide" (I think facetiously) she was thinking about ways to cut back on expenses - but now I will give her time to digest all the information I gave her and push her to make a decision.
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I'll be there myself in the same situation as you very soon.
GOD grant us cooperative parents, for their sake as well as ours.
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Thank-you. You have reinforced my intended course of action. I have prepared a discussion as though I am a financial consultant for anyone trying to live within a budget. Basically I have laid out her only options and am forcing her to make a decision. Am also preparing myself to the backlash of anger toward me, even though I am not responsible for her situation. I can do it!
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It is correct that you cannot force her to do something she doesn't want to do. But also you do not have to supplement her income to continue a situation that is a burden for you and not the best for her. That is a tough love decision and even a tougher conversation. Are you able to do that?
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