Less and less time.

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I'm having issues now with trying to help my cousin take care of my grandmother. Work hours have changed to working 6 days a week and I love the overtime, but my fiance and I are getting married in two weeks.

Im also mad because her doctor f**ked up the paperwork to try to get her into a nursing home, so now I have to waste my time going BACK to the d*mn doctor AND I JUST DONT HAVE TIME. nobody else in the family can do it either cause nobody f**king drives. Everyday I get phonecalls with sh*t I need to do, bit when am I suppose to do it?? My fiance doesn't want me to take time off from work (and neither do I to be honest) and all my freetime is wedding planning amd sleeping

4 Comments

Where is the older generation in this? Your parents and your cousins' parents? Not being able to drive doesn't mean they can't handle things on the phone or via taxi or public transportation.

Taking care of elders involves some sacrifice. I doesn't seem unreasonable to me for you to take a couple weeks off before your wedding and let others pick up on the sacrifice role.

But also keep in mind that other people's needs don't follow convenient schedules. Your spouse may become ill and need your help at a peak time in your work schedule. You may break your leg and need all kinds of being driven around when it is most inconvenient for your spouse. If you have children, count on their milestone activities conflicting with something important in another part of your life.

I hope you can take a few weeks off from caregiving at this time. I also hope that you can take future disruptions to your preferred schedule in stride.
Thank you. It has been tough because my parents weren't really in my life or my grandmother's life. My cousin is actually in her 40s and this all started when my grandmother lost her house. My cousin (her niece) offered her a place to live. Unfortunately, that's when grandma's health problems started coming along- and guess what- I was the person there to take her to the doctor, made sure she had clothes, groceries, computer game. And I also made sure my cousin got paid her rent money EVEN after she asked for an increase because she's helping take care of mom. Lately she has told me that she's been a little difficult to take care of so when I come up to visit once a month I help grandma with laundry, bathing and cleaning her room. I guess they've had a falling out over the past week or so, because I get phone calls from them both. "Don't pay your cousin for rent, I might be leaving soon!". "Your Grandmother won't stop smoking no matter how many times I talk to het about it!"

I can understand that this is rough for all of us, but for me to be the middle man with some of these issues isn't cool. Especially when my voice mail has to be open and available for those to call me about wedding details... *sigh*
Hang in there, OmgWhatNow. The wedding is SOON and not only is that a happy event with a happy outcome, it means some of your time will be freed up and life will take on a more normal pace. You can do this!
Thanks. Maybe after the wedding it'll be easier

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