Father is dying

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My father is 87 and living in a nursing home. He can not get out of bed anymore and has stopped eating all together and drinks very little. They suggested I sign him up for hospice care today which I have done. He is just tired and ready to join my mother in heaven. Can you give me an idea of how long someone might last at this stage?


Dear lbellew, i'm so sorry for your situation. I know this must be a difficult time for you but you have done what is the very best for your father by putting him on hospice. How long your dad lives depends on him. Some people can survive longer without food than others but in general you are looking at weeks. I suggest you focus on dad's comfort and the quality of his time left. It is important that you and those he care's about give him permission to go. At this point in your dad's life his spirit is stronger than his body and any unfinished business will hinder his passing. This is a very special time and you need to remember that the passing from this life is as normal as birth and nothing to be feared. I pray for peace and comfort for you and your dad.
Dear lbellew3, my heart goes out to you during this time in the valley. I pray for comfort for you and your father, and that both your needs are met peacefully.

yearight, what a precious response to lbellew3.
Treasure the time you have left with your father. You are honoring his wishes and hospice will help you to help him through a death with dignity. Bless you with peace during this difficult time.
dear Ibellew, take a deep breath, my heart goes out for you. It is a hard time. Sometime they stop eating because they are having a hard time with the food. Speak to the nursing home about your concerns. maybe if you bring dad some jello or a drink he may drink it for you.Yes hospice will be there for you, make you time with one another a special moment. may the peace you seek found you.patrica61
dear Ibellew,
So many of us have been in the same situation, so we know what you are going through. We will all pray for you and hope that you have loving arms to support you. My dad was in hospice for 15 months, most of them very happy. I know that seems strange, but he just loved the people who cared for him. He became weak at the end and refused to eat. The nurses said that he knew that it was time. He picked the day that he wanted to die. We all gathered around his bed and waited. Old guy fooled us. He lived until we all had to go home, and died 2 days later with his nurse by his side and my mom in the other room. Till the end, he did it his way. Give your dad the peace and understanding that he needs and know that when it is his time, he will know. God Bless you.
My Mother was in the same situation and she lasted about a couple of weeks in this stage. She was also incoherrant. May God bless you and your Father..
llbellew, may God bless you and your Dad with peace and grant him comfort in his life transition. It must be very, very difficult for you.
Dear Ibellew,
So sorry to hear about your Dad. I just lost my Dad on July 30. He had a major stroke on July 26. He was in ICU for two days, and in hospice for two days. There was massive bleeding in the brain, so nothing could be done, except to make him comfortable. Everyone is right when they say, that when the time comes, they themselves will choose when. I also know that they will also be the ones who will decide who is in the room with them at the time of their passing. My Dad knew that I wanted more than anything to be with him when the time came, and he let me. I let him know that it was okay to go when he chose the right time. You will know when they are close to joining their loved ones, trust your instincts. I pray it will not be uncomfortable for your Father. It is very hard, and I wish you comfort at this difficult time. Hospice nurses are so wonderful, and compassionate. They are angels.
What a fine tribute to your Dad, Nauseated. Did he die peacefully, in your observation, once that time came?
I think he died peacefully, his breathing became easier, and he even opened his eyes for me. I then said "Hi Dad!" in a sweet voice, and told him it was okay, through tears of course. I know he is not suffering anymore, and is with my Mom, and Brother, and also his Mother, Father, and Brother. If the dying experience can be considered beautiful, it was. And the hospice nurses made sure to make him as comfortable as possible, and were gentle and sweet. I wish everyone here could have the same experience. God Bless all of you.

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