My 91 yr old mother has FTD (fronto-temporal dementia) and is mid-stage. She currently lives with us & has a home health aide 2x/week. Mom's executive functioning is gone, as is her short term memory. She has trouble with words and understanding conversations and tends to misinterpret 90% of what you tell her. She has a very inaccurate concept of time - doesn't generally know what time of day it is, or what day. If I leave the house for 15 minutes to go get my daughter off the school bus, mom thinks we've be gone for hours. She also doesn't understand how to operate kitchen appliances (including the fridge) and is rapidly losing the ability to operate the tv (despite having a simplified remote with only 5 buttons). She doesn't understand the concept of an answering machine, so we've taken it out of her room - and I don't think she can make phone calls anymore (though she will talk on the phone if a relative calls her). Mom can dress herself and can eat. But she can't find clothes easily in her drawers (the closet is easier for her to understand). She can walk (though very poorly and only for short distances). She still talks, but it can be difficult to understand what she's actually talking about. Her comments don't make sense a lot of the time. Mom refuses to go into an eldercare community. That's one topic she still understands and is very hostile about. Her doctor feels we need additional help with care planning so we hired a geriatric care manager and asked for help getting mom admitted to a facility. We've been told the problem is Assisted Living would require more independence than mom can muster. But the geriatric care manager has concerns that mom is "too well" for a memory care unit, as she's still mobile, able to dress herself, etc. The case manager worries that we'd be putting mom into an upsetting position of being surrounded by bedridden seniors who can't speak, talk, or perform any ADL's. She thinks it would be highly upsetting for my mom and just cause more hostility. This leads to my question - is this good advice in your personal experiences with dementia? I'm surprised that professionals (including her physician) aren't insisting on facility care. Lat week, mom thought a guy on the television was someone outside the house looking at her through "the window" (aka, the television). The week before she had a nightmare about a man with a gun and couldn't distinguish the difference between the conscious state and the dream state. She woke up insisting the dream was real and there was a man in the house with a gun. I can't believe the medical community isn't insisting we admit her to a memory care unit. But what I hear is that she's still physically too well and we need a medical event to occur. Then it'll be a cut and dry decision. Is this really how this plays out? We just let medically incompetent, paranoid, delusional seniors stumble around in the world until they break a hip or have a heart attack and that's when we finally do something? Or are we getting bad advice from a case manager that doesn't want to be the bad guy with my mom? Oh - and before it's suggested - NO, she doesn't have a UTI. We've been down that road at the doctor's office multiple times. She brain is literally falling apart. That's the problem.