As my mom's dementia, mobility and ability to care for herself in general keep worsening, my dad also is starting to have his own problems with energy, mobility and awareness, not to mention being mostly deaf. They're both 90. My feeling is that my dad is "in control" of the situation, and quite stubborn. I can see why they want to spend every last day together in their own home, it's only natural. But at the same time the two of them together in their confusion, they're just egging each other on to stay put and not budge. It's also hard to get them to communicate with each other, because of her congitive decline and his hearing. They do have support of a PCA, a couple of friends and neighbors and my and a sibling. My main question is as she gets worse, how will we all convince him that he cannot give her the care she needs? If we ever took her to a home or in with other family, he would explode. We've invited both of them to one of our houses but they won't consider it. He's in control and plans to stay that way, is my impression.