Follow
Share

My mother missed qualifying for some months by a few hundred dollars. Plus she had a $10,000 life insurance policy that I didn't realize had to be liquidated to qualify. I was told to start over and I haven't done it yet because of caregiver burnout (10 years). Anyone have experience with this? Thanks.

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
Gigi11's suggestion is great. Maybe you can locate a volunteer organizer - just someone who recently did their own application - through the local Senior center or area council on aging, or your church. I get tons done when there is someone to encourage me and keep me on task.

Don't hesitate to call on any friend or relative to give you two hours of time to get you going, or to pay someone or their kid $15 or $20 an hour to sort papers and photocopy or anything you need. Get some help, and the job will get done.

I'm sorry it's such a struggle. It is for me, too.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

If you've managed to pull together much paperwork/documentation,
Area Agency on Aging has lawyers donate half-hour appointments for elder legal helps.
If you have all that paper in a folder, you could take it all to one of those, and have them help sort it, and help point you in the right direction, if not finish it.

Facilities usually have social workers who can help get things taken care of--facilities are motivated to get things straightened out--they want to get paid!

If it's a "whole life" insurance policy, or other quasi-whole life kind, it can be cashed out & held quietly for emergencies, or used to spend-down on expenses.
Term life is only usually on those under 75 or 85, depending on company.
Aged people are too high-risk a gamble for pay-outs--insurance co's will only, maybe, sell a limited burial policy--for which one could just as well save for themselves---but that must not come to anyone's notice, or it will be confiscated by welfare. Welfare usually treats burial plots as valued real estate--you can sell those to pay welfare.

IF one is concerned about death arrangements--and only each person or family can decide how important it is to have funeral/death arrangements =or not=---
There are companies that collect bodies for science research, schools, for FREE. Once tissues are used, they also cremate, for FREE.
There's one in Portland, Oregon, that does this--I'm sure there are others.
http://www.biogift.org/ is the Portland website; the forms are there to download in advance. Some need notarized.
It completely removes the stress of paying for very expensive funeral arrangements, & does some good for posterity.
And, it removes choosing how to deal with Remains from DSHS.

Sometimes just having another person help sort it, helps overcome inertia to get things done.
Taking baby steps to get things done, helps---it's impossible to do huge amounts of things all at once, especially when stressed and depressed.

When I'm overwhelmed, I start cleaning up some corner, to see if I can find a lost item, or just get better order...things get away from me pretty easily, since being a caretaker for a complicated parent & others.
Cleaning up any small bit, helps feel better, & usually motivates towards getting more corners cleared up. Some days more stuff gets done, others not so much.
We have to learn to be kind and patient with ourselves, too.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

We used a elder-care lawyer to help us get my mother onto medicaid. While they worked very diligently to make this happen, unfortunately we were notified that medicaid accepted her about 2 months after she passed away. I think they were very helpful getting all our ducks in a row -- re: wills, POA, healthcare advocate, etc. good luck. PS, I am not a lawyer!
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Most nursing homes will assist you. I am going through this process now. You would do most of the work for the attorney anyway. Best of luck!
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

I can SO relate to your situation, ckaufman. Next month it will be 10 years I’ve been here with Mom (age 95) – ever since Dad died. I can see what needs to be done, I can see how to do it, but it just doesn't happen. It's like I want to dance but my ankles are shackled -- that sort of feeling. Makes me feel like a slacker and at this point who needs more downers?

So I want to share a tactic that helps when this inertia particularly bothers me -- I call in my friend who works as a de-clutter consultant. She's coming this week to help clean out and organize my bedroom closet. Last time we did the garage. What’s significant about this process is that it’s THERAPY. What she helps me accomplish in two hours otherwise would take me weeks, if it got done at all. Then the enthusiasm from accomplishing something spills into other areas, and I feel better about myself.

Maybe you don’t need de-cluttering, but perhaps there’s someone who could come in and give you a kick-start on your paperwork? My friend has reasonable rates and I use her only every few months when I feel particularly paralyzed. I’d call her a lot more often if money weren’t such an issue right now.

Speaking of paralysis, you seem depressed and I can relate to that too. Action is an excellent antidote and perhaps you also should speak with a doctor about it. Blessings to you in your circumstances.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

Man, ten years. It's five for me. MOM has too much for Medicaid and not enough for self pay. We've got all of the paperwork together for VA and they awarded $287 a month. Now we have in home care, just 16 hours because we were told VA Aid and Attendance will kick in. It hasn't yet. Yikes. Good luck.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Thanks. I'll try to barrel through because cost is a huge issue, but you're talking to someone who can rarely even brush her teeth anymore. It's true I'll feel good if I get it done. A bit of encouragement goes a long way with helping me. Thanks again.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Personally if you've already done some of this, I think you can barrel through it as you already have had to get documents together. Just think of all the character building it's provided.......but really if cost is NOT an issue and you just can't face another round, hire an attorney but you still will have to get the documents to them.

Lousy luck on the whole life policy, did you see if is can be converted to a term life policy? Term policy have no value, so she could keep it. If not, perhaps think about using whatever you get from it (they will charge you fees to liquidate it) to do a prepaid, NCV (no cash value) funeral & burial policy. Or get her new glasses, hearing aids, dental work...all are iffy on Medicaid. Just keep the receipts and write the checks out to the business, in case Medicaid asks for papertrail.

Go down to Target...it's filled with cute & fun back to school stuff right now and get yourself a new notebook, binder, etc. for Medicaid adventure # 2! Good luck.
Helpful Answer (5)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.