I have a sister in England who was in the hospital for weeks with a chest infection along with her husband who then passed away while she was holding his hand. She is 90 and has Dementia and is now in a nursing home and doesn't seem to know her husband has gone. I live in Canada and can't be there for her, and I really don't know what to do for her and feel very guilty that I can't be there. There is only one family left who lives 4-5 hours away, so I feel she is on her own. I phone every week and send a cheerful card every week, she was very confused today, so the call wasn't for long. I just go along with what she's saying as that seemes the best way. But....its all very difficult which I'm sure a lot of people are going through the same thing.
I know that they will appreciate it.
Also, it helps your loved one, when their supporting staff feels appreciated by a family.
Best wishes to you.
Dementia is tough. You are doing a great job by going along with what she's saying, even if she seems confused. No sense trying to correct her - that would not make for a nice conversation for either of you.
She may very well not remember that her husband died. And that's OK. She doesn't really need to know. Or relive the pain of losing him. If she asks about him, just give some vague answer that won't distress her.