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Mom is paralyzed on one side and having trouble "wiping" her backside on the toilet in our new home. There isn't enough clearance when reaching underneath and back to reach her bottom. I've been trying to research toilet seats to find out why some toilet seats are easier for her than other but can't find a solution as to what/why causes this dilemma. Any suggestions?

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My patient is also paralyzed on one side. We have and use an Invacare Get-U-Up Lift for transfers. If you had one these lifts you could use it to seat your Mom on the toilet. Afterwards you could raise her from the seat and pull her away from the stool and help clean her (or even bathe her.) Also, you would not worry about her falling.
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Reply to Ricky6
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There's actually a tool to assist with wiping -- Maddak Self-Wipe Bathroom Toilet Aid with Rotating Handle and Release Button.

It's available from CVS and other places, too, I'm sure.
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Reply to MJ1929
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Install a bidet? I am going to redo our main bath and this is something I really want. There is the 'drying off' factor, but that's not huge, and yes, that handled Toilet aid works pretty well.

Just make sure your LO is not using an abundnace of TP and NOT flushing those 'flushable wipes'. They really aren't flushable!!
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Reply to Midkid58
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susieq1216 May 25, 2021
I've pondered a bidet, but I don't understand how they work and how they could possibly clean a person after a thick, voluminous BM without using TP! I just don't get it! Plus, how do these bidets stay clean from one person to another? I've viewed some YouTube video's but these sensitive concerns aren't addressed.
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My Dads Occupational Therapist recommended this and it has been a huge help for him. I found it on Amazon for $10.

Fanwer Toilet Aids Tools,Long... (amazon.com)
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Reply to jkl0916
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If you have a round seat change the toilet to an elongated bowl. I wold get one ADA height to make it easier on everyone if the one you have is "standard" height. But the elongated bowl/seat will make it easier.
You could also get a bidet toilet if you really want to "splurge" or they do have bidet seats that will aid in cleaning. You should have a power source nearby so that you can adjust the water temp otherwise it will be cold.
And oddly I did recently see a "tool" that enables you to wipe more easily. Think of it as like one of those grabbers that you put the toilet paper onto. Obviously it was angled differently. (OK..Googled it and there are many. Search for Toilet aids, long reach comfort wipe. the only problem that I see with it, and it might be a BIG problem its for Back to Front wiping and that might lead to UTI or other problems if fecal matter gets to the urethra.
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Reply to Grandma1954
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Thanks for all the input, as I personally struggle with hygiene issues. I wear disposables, as my back problems and diabetic nerve issues plus morning IBS that makes getting to a toilet on time a major issue.
I just lost my wife after a long, disabling process that had her bedridden. We had Hospice, thank God. I still was her 24/7 unpaid caregiver but the “paid” part didn’t matter. We lived month to month. That’s not going to change since she’s gone, as long as I can stay healthy anyway.
My right hand is numb. Swollen, and hurts most all the time. It’s been evaluated. I use to get effective painkillers but that ended with the war on opioids.
Aleve helps. Hot water soaks with massage helps. Braces do sometimes.
You don’t want to be wearing one when trying to clean your bottom.
I live alone with my cat in a nice apartment. I fix my own breakfast every day. So I can still manage that.
I often take my hot food into the bathroom as the IBS some mornings doesn’t leave me much choice.
I keep a plastic jug of Clorox & water close by in both bathrooms. Paper towels. Lined waste basket. Toilet bowl scrubbers. Etc.
A higher toilet would be nice. Can’t wait to ask the Super for them. ( Joke).
I run laundry every other day. Haven’t had any accidents on the bed or other furniture yet. I use a cane & wheelchair. I have a Medicare Advantage HMO with excellent prescription coverages. Lost most of my hearing now, so I don’t engage in conversations.
I am fortunate to have a daughter that looks after me, and a son who does likewise. Plus their very supportive spouses.
I’m going to look into that tool. Never knew such existed until today. Thanks.
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Reply to Myachingass75
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RitaDee May 28, 2021
I could have written this myself...except I'm 68. And a girl. The yearlong pandemic has made things even worse for me. Showers and tubs are a slippery death trap in my opinion. No safety bars..just a slippery wall. I have resorted to sponge baths. Not that much better but what are you gonna do. I have one of the 4" seat lifts. The toilets they install these days are for preK classes I swear. I recently replaced the plastic seat lift and nobody had the oval shaped. So I had to buy round. That's a little problem for a girl. Anyhow I'm gonna try a bidet. At least get the dingleberries hosed off. Lol.
Good Luck.
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A few suggestions: Try a seat that is open in front, she can sit closer to front and allow space in back. Also, check into portable bidets on Amazon. They cost 50.00 or less, easy to install. Read reviews first for best one. Most say less TP etc is needed. Is your toilet bowl round or oblong? Oblong may be better for her.. Also, I only use seats with Sta-tite bolts..much more secure etc for turning etc. Btw, Some seats on new toilets curve downwards on the inside, and makes it more difficult- my sister had one like that. Felt like I was sinking into toilet. Good luck!
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Reply to Altc7435
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My mom also lost the ability to wipe backside. Stand in front of her while she is seated on toilet. Have her lean forward until you have enough space to wipe her. This saved our back as we no longer had to lift her and try to wipe at the same time. We sometimes wore a disposable glove
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Reply to clavecin
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A bidet is the answer to your question. My bidet sits on top of the toilet seat. It plugs into a wall socket. It provides two types of wash - "front" and "back." It heats the seat. It heats the water. It even has an enema-type function. I cannot imagine life without it. Actually, I can, but I don't want to. Everyone in the household will want to use it. Who doesn't like a warm seat and a fresh wash?
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Reply to lotstolose
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Evanie May 28, 2021
I second that! The Japanese have perfected it with Toto (look up on youtube) to get an idea about how they work. They are ubiquitous there - wash, dry and no paper needed. There are portable ones sold at Costco.com, Amazon and many other vendors. Once you use them, it's hard to go back.
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I purchased, from Amazon, a great bidet attachment that I (79 year old woman) was able to connect in minutes. It connects to the sink faucet after you unscrew the faucet aerator. Screw on the bidet hose and then hang the holder for the hand held sprayer to the side of the toilet tank. You can still use the sink faucet as normal and can regulate the temperature of the water coming as well as the pressure, through the hose so your backside can be comfortable. It has been wonderful for me and the cost was around $50 as I recall. Wish I had it years ago, even after child birth it would have been a treat.
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