Dear all, I have posted here long ago about my beloved Mom who died of pneumonia.
She had very rapid (50 breaths per minute), regular breathing for about 9 hours with chest indrawings, nasal flaring.
My question is, how long time can a dying person keep breathing like that?
It wasn’t gasping, and she was totally awake and alert.
Is it common that they just stop breathing or does it usually slow down and turn into Cheyne-Stokes before passing?

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Thank you so much everyone❤️.
I did see that she didn’t want that second howcome I didn’t stop?
I didn’t understand the severity of morphine and sedatives, and actually didn’t want to understand that my Mother was dying!
I can’t get rid of her eyes and face trying to say NO! I think she wanted to see my brother before she let go.
He had been there in the evening but since the nurse saud this would take a long time he went home to sleep thinking he would see her the next day..
The guilt is also that it was I who took away their goodbyes.
My Mom was not in hospice but in the nursing home she has bern living in for the last 15 years.
Helpful Answer (1)

Karin, I'm so sorry that you're in pain over this. My mom died of pneumonia, secondary to a fall, in August. We brought in hospice the day before she died, although she'd been eligible for two years.

My mom appeared to be in physical or psychic pain. I'll never know which. I just knew that I'd promised her, long ago, no painful death. Morphine was a blessing that eased her passing. It did not cause it.

I hope that you can find some relief from these painful thoughts. But I want to echo what others have said. You are not powerful enough to have caused your mom's death.
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Karin, I second SendHelp's answer. You didn't cause your mom's death. She was in hospice, so was coming to the end of her life naturally. If this still bothers you years later, please get some counseling. You're giving yourself too much credit for controlling the universe. You didn't control when your mom died. Please try to get help to focus on her LIFE and the good times you had and not the last day of her life. I'm sure she wouldn't want you despairing over that - you did the very best you could to help your mom with her suffering.

My mom died in May and I know how difficult that last day can be for us daughters. I'm sending you a big virtual {{{hug}}}. You were a loving, caring daughter and you deserve peaceful memories of your mom. You did NOTHING wrong.
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Her death was not your fault. You did not cause it. She was dying, in the process of dying. The nurse would not have given the dose if it was meant to kill her, they are not allowed to do that. Easing her suffering and difficulty breathing was your only intention, and you had the hospice nurse for back-up.  She died of pneumonia.
What you describe is similar to Cheyne-Stokes breathing in their final hours. The hours and minutes are different for every patient. Unless your Mother stated she did not want the medication, you could not have known what she meant.
This happened years ago. What MacinCT describes as intrusive thoughts may be happening to you. Maybe the whole experience was so sensitive and traumatic for you
that it is interfering with your today. That happens. Talk here, AND go for help. It is not too late for a grief group, or to see a therapist. Even a psychiatrist for a little medication. But don't let anyone say that what you are going through does not happen to others.
Grief expresses itself in many ways, differently in different people. You are likely NOT, REPEAT NOT crazy. And I believe that the best thing you could have done today, (or was it late last night?) was to have reached out to other caregivers who have experienced similar to what you have.
Today is Friday. If this is urgent mental anguish for you at this time, reach out to a mental health crisis hotline.
Make a deposit of all that guilt here, and take a deep breath, relax.
What are you having for dinner?
Welcome back posting.

Note:  If anyone comes on and makes this poster's issues about hospice, I might just come through the cyber screen and whip your butt!   You know who you are, so just pass on by....... Please protect this poster's delicate and vulnerable circumstances by being kind.  It is, after all, a full moon.
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Thank you so much for your answers, you are both right, this happened years ago and I’m stuck in the details of my Mother’s death.
She got two doses of morphine and stesolid, and died of it and that was my fault.
I can’t get over it.I panicked and 30 min after the first injection I rang for the nurse again to ask if she could get some more since I couldn’t see that her breathing had calmed down. The nurse said she could have a little more and when she came back with it I saw my Mom trying to show me that she didn’t want it, but I was so stuck in wanting to ease her breathing that I didn’ t pay any notice of it:(
Mom died two hours later.
So this is why I am obsessed with the details of her death, I want to know how close she was to death before I interferred, to ease my burden of guilt.
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On second thought, I realize I should not have answered until the OP came back with more information.
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So very sorry about your loss of your Mom to pneumonia.
How long ago was this? It doesn't really matter because in your heart and mind, you choose to revisit the medical details of her death, wanting perhaps an explanation of the last breaths your Mom took, and was this "normal". Is that it?

So sorry that you are grieving in this way right now. You can move on to accepting that she is gone and that you cannot change what happened during her last hours. Even so, re-visiting that time is a common process of grief and loss. Venting about it here can help, as you hear from others who have gone through this. I just hope that you won't get stuck on the breathing part. Is that your real question,I am wondering?
Helpful Answer (2)

If she was on comfort measures and not complaining do not worry. I think you would ask the same question if it was slow or Cheyne Stokes. If she passed more than a few days ago and you are still obsessing, this is called intrusive thoughts. It may be helpful to speak to a professional about it. I remember a traumatic workplace event where we got counseling that explained intrusive thoughts. Our employer was thoughtful enough to feel that certain events can paralyze our ability to carry on. So sorry!
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