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...the next minute he acts scared tells me not to leave.
My father has always been so independent worked hard his entire life. In one years time he has went from seemingly ok to getting locked out of his house and looking at himself for hours in the mirror.
There are strange people on his property and he is smitten by a few women who have come into his life.
It's like I don't know him yet, he will tell me to stay not to go outside. Then he gives me a vacant look like he doesn't know me. Or he yells at me says to leave them alone or that I'm starting trouble. It's the saddest most confusing experience I have ever had. The family wants me to take action but I don't know how? It's like my Dad is a teenager one minute loving the attention the next scared. My Dad has never had a debt he built his house now there is a construction loan due but no construction? I'm so confused to where my power lies?

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It really sounds like he needs full time assisted living care. It would be for his good and yours. He will feel safer. At this rate, I would be concerned that he could disappear. I am sorry. I have a mother in a NH, but that is good.
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Another thought - if you go to a police station to report the identity theft in connection with the alleged construction loan, provide them with information on the "gal" with whom your father is smitten and ask them to check if she has a police record. She may be an accomplished fraudster.
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I'm addressing only this statement:

"My Dad has never had a debt he built his house now there is a construction loan due but no construction?"

Who told you or how did you determine that there's a construction loan due? Does your father live alone?

If he's received a demand letter for a construction loan, you need to start an investigation ASAP. I've handled a lot of construction loans while working at one of the big law firms in this area and can tell you that any construction loan made in a situation like this has got to be fraudulent, and whatever entity holds the loan is deep into this scam.

Do NOT contact any of the entities involved - alleged lender, representativs, etc. First call the county register of deeds or other department that handles recording of documents to see if this loan was ever recorded. If you have a tax statement, get what's called the SIDWELL number; it's also the property identification number. That will help the county staff check the real estate records.

If such a loan was recorded, get a copy, go to the police and ask them to investigate for identity fraud.

Then, if you have an attorney who handles real estate, contact him or her to fight this attempt to scam your father.

If he did sign a construction loan document and any payments were disbursed, there are 2 primary issues:

1. He wasn't mentally cognizant or capable of knowing what he was signing and the document was obtained either under duress or by some other methods of force or subterfuge. There's likely criminal ability for anyone involved in pushing this loan.

2. If any proceeds were actually disbursed, the entities receiving them are engaging in fraud as well since they didn't perform any work on the property or house.

If you don't have an attorney, call your county or state attorney bar association, Area Agency on Aging, any local law schools, or Senior Center and ask about pro bono (free) legal services for seniors. You won't necessarily get someone with real estate experience if you go to a free legal clinic, but you might get a referral to another clinic for someone with that experience.

I don't dismiss the importance of the other issues, but I would put this one at the top of my list. Identity fraud needs to be addressed quickly before fraudsters get any further.
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I am afraid this may be a common thing for dementia behavior, in my small experience. My father gave away loads of antiques to antique pickers, total strangers who just happened to stop by, but would not give anything to family who asked if they could have something.

I think part of this is the air of importance and the need for attention from outsiders. Even to this day my father promises vehicles and antiques to his caregivers in the NH.

Do not ignore this...the old myth of gold diggers who prey on the elderly is very real.
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Yes, someting serious is going on, possibly dementia. He needs medical attention and you need to look into legal and financial matters before its all stolen. What kind of place is he living in and why are strange people hanging around?

I had an uncle who was sort of the town drunk with dementia. He lived alone in the house he grew up in and stayed plastered. He had lots of money, CDs, stocks, cash, savings accounts etc. He was also into guns and would threaten anyone who tried to intervene so the family just let him be. The local drunk, crackhead boys stole everything he had in about 6 months. We're talking tens of thousands of dollars. In spite of court ordered directives, he died broke and alone as the crackheads partied away.
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It sounds as though thete maybe something going on with dad, and the first step is to get him invto see his doctor. Write down what you've observed and take it with you to the doctor's appointment. Give this to the receptionist when you check in and tell her it's important that yhe doctor see it before s/he sees your dad. Start there and let us know how you make out.

Has dad assigned a power of attorney to anyone?
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