And how about the telephone? No one else needs to restrict telephone use?


Dear all,

I have often said that my mom is better off in AL because she is safe, has her meds, eats well, and is entertained.

But in addition, and a HUGE reason for her to be there was to get her away from the telephone!!!

In her own home she had to and did, of course, have a phone. Once her anxiety and paranoia really got rolling back in the fall of 2013, she began making all kinds of calls: to the police, the senior center, the Area Agency on Aging, etc, all to complain about me. According to her, she was being abused, I was stealing her money and her car, etc., etc. She even called the stock broker to say that I wasn't giving her spending money.

(Let me just add that I was visiting every day, paying her bills, getting her taxes done, getting the car inspected, taking her shopping and to the hairdresser and out to dinner, in short, doing everything for her, and also running interference with her spectacular mistakes. You know, the normal drill.).

I was told by the Area Agency on Aging that, if something wasn't done, if she continued to draw attention to herself with these calls, which they could not ignore, the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania would step in, take over her case, and declare itself her POA.

Can you imagine, after all I was doing for her, that I would lose the POA because of her nuttiness?

So, it was imperative to get her AWAY FROM THE PHONE! And that was a large part of of the reasoning for her placement into AL. Now, she is safe and well taken care of, and has no phone--so she cannot create a ruckus on a whim or turn our lives upside-down.

Has anyone else had trouble with this?

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Good point, pamstegman, and thank you for mentioning it. My mom has no phone list and, by now, probably doesn't even remember the name of her/our lawyer. She IS on anti-anxiety meds, which is why things are better now, and I thank God for them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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OH YES when mom moved to ALF she gave her furniture to cousins and wanted a list of who got what. She then proceeded to call them and demand it all back, because she intended to move back to her house. I found the list we gave her and destroyed it. We rented the house and now being a little smarter, we have not given in to her demand to go there and meet the tenant. We even warned the tenant on the other half of the duplex, because she said she was going to throw him out. Fortunately he has a mother of his own and was very understanding. Sophe's post is right on target, your mom will find another phone and make use of it. Remove any phone number list that she has. I would even ask the MD if an anti-anxiety med or SNRI such as Cymbalta would help.
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Wow, what a story. I am so sorry that the neighbors backed out of the house deal. Did you get the house sold?

I never gave my mom a phone so nothing to take away--thank God. She once called from the foyer phone to ask why she hadn't seen me in five days--I had been there the day before and every day for three weeks.

But, again, since her "fine-tuning," she has been very tractable. Fingers crossed!
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O Lordy yes, sure have had trouble with that! Mom is in AL and has a phone but I had the long distance blocked and she doesn't know many local people. She called the people buying her house (neighbors) and told them she was going to haunt them as a ghost if they bought her house. She threatened them in other ways but that one really got to them and they backed out of the deal. (!). She called the police, too. But mostly she calls the operator and threatens her. But beyond that, she tells the visitors that come to visit Other People in the facility that I'm stealing, mean, evil, etc. Staff told me to expect Protective Services to investigate me because of all the bad stories she was telling about me to anybody that would stand still.
I'm working on getting the phone out of her room, but I haven't done it yet. She told me she would consider herself a prisoner locked in a box if I took the phone out. I'm hoping she forgets what it is and I can get rid of it with less fuss in a few months.
So, even if you take the phone out, she'll find somebody's cell phone, or corner a visitor and download on them. I sure hope the State leaves you alone. I hired a forensic accountant to handle her finances (this is somebody who does criminal fraud investigations most of the time), so the accountant is unassailable by local attorneys, etc. So, you are in for a rough ride, as are we all. sigh
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