Hi all - I tried the agency route to have some help come in for my 86 year old dad with mild dementia (he doesn't need help with ADLS, etc) They came 4 shifts, he was agitated and annoyed every damn time and the person changed 3 times (which I know is common) so I realized that 3 days a week at 3 hours a clip was too much at this point (he is doing pretty well on his own right now and I am there a couple times a week with him). So to care.com I went, and I think I have found someone who is willing to do less hours and will work around her other clients. Now I need to go back to dad and re-convince him this is what is needed. He kicked one of the aides out last week - I was mortified. I think the less hours and the consistent face will be best for him, but looking for advice for getting a stubborn old goat to agree to this (I am prepared to drop all of the lingo - it's helping me, etc etc). Plus he lives in a house that I own, so might have to use that as some leverage as well.
Most will pick up in the morning and then return the participant in the late afternoon. Typically a breakfast, snack, lunch is given and there are activities and sometimes "field trips".
If you feel your father is capable of reasoning I would tell him that it is the accepting of help or it is going into care NOW, and that for your own part it would be much easier to get him into care situation now, than to wait, so his own stubbornness may get him into a facility before he needs it.
To be honest with you, someone with dementia is not safe at home any longer. It is dangerous. So whatever decision you come to agreement on now is subject to radical and sudden changes due to his dementia, and isn't going to work for long in my own humble opinion. I would start laying down the law now as to what the future looks like and help him with exploring assets and options. While he still can.
I assume all paperwork, advance directives, POA, will, are ALL DONE?