I believe that deep down I know what I need to do for myself, but I am in a quandary over how to care for my mom with serious dementia issues. She is only 78 but very aggressive and down right mean. Her behavior is becoming worse. Unfortunately, I battle depression. I have managed to take care of myself with regular Dr visits, etc over the years. Sadly, I take a considerable amount of verbal ridicule and attacks from my mother and brother regarding my seeing a Dr for depression. I function and do very well, usually. But caring for my mother's situation has probably exacerbated a familia dynamic that I had a handle on. I have such a difficult time standing up for myself when my family becomes toxic . I usually leave and go back to my place. With my demented mom or brother following me out the door telling me that I just run away...
It gets comical..but I will cry all the way home afterwards. I suppose one of my questions is, is this behavior typically displayed by a dementia person? I mean, the family dynamics aside, my mother is extremely paranoid. And she can make quite valid comments accusations. What is sad , I have recently discovered, is that for many years, I have been the object of her paranoia , behind my back. It has shocked me to know that she has been so unkind. Additionally, I am grieving the knowledge of her misplaced weirdness.
I see that dynamically, triangulatingg against another has been a coping skill she has implemented. But , I am old, tired and I work prn and try to help her and my brother out.
My brother is angry as, he feels that I should be able to deal with the situation. And care for her regardless of the hateful treatment. He lives in a small home that she bought for him and his family.( 4 adults have lived for free )10 years. But he is too busy to help out with caring for our mom. He can become verbally abusive towards me also. I am so very torn and down right confused. Actually, righting all this down , has given me more insight on how dysfunctional this fam.actually is..
Anyone have any kind suggestions ?? I'm not sure what topic this falls under ...so please bare with me ..